ten words or less #71

Champions League Tifo at Borussia Dortmund

believe it or not, the reason dortmund fans put up this awesome tifo was to use the dude’s giant binoculars to see when my last TWOL post was.

It’s been weeks since I put out my last Ten Words or Less, which I suppose is a good thing for you readers considering that means I’ve been dropping original content for you instead of shoveling you content from other sources. But that doesn’t change the fact that I feel like I’m neglecting the long-running links post. Or the fact that some of the links I had originally collected for this have since become irrelevant.

So now that you’re done buying a shirt from the brand new WSOTP Shop, I figured I’d get things back to normal with a freshly updated edition. And if you’re looking for original content, I’ll probably have something else for you before the weekend. In the mean time, enjoy some of my favorite links from around the world of football from the last week or so.

Terrible April Fools joke, but a great idea for real. – qatarliving

A refreshing dose of clarity from Spurs’ wordsmith, Spooky. – dearmrlevy.co.uk

Sexiest Puma shirt they’ve put out in quite a while. – football-shirts.co.uk

The first supporters to ever fly to an away match. – inbedwithmaradona.com

Abou Diaby: the man-made of glass. – talksport.co.uk

Chelsea’s creepy blue man group kit launch. – youtube.com

A very well executed dead horse beating. – regista-blog.com

Those poor globe-trotting scouts have it awful. – guardian.co.uk

One designer’s line inspired by retro soccer design. – hypebeast.com

So, bicycle soccer actually exists. – kckrs.com

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in review: MLS jersey week

Ahhhhh. Take a second and breathe in that cool refreshing spring air. Mmmm… it smells like First Kick, doesn’t it?

MLS Jersey Week 2013

hopefully this is the start of a new yearly tradition in major league soccer.

Well if it doesn’t, it certainly should. In fact, I’d be a little surprised if you weren’t subliminally thinking about MLS right now, as the league’s marketing has been awfully hard to ignore this winter/spring. With an advertising campaign that’s been plastered all over the place — TV, print and all the various electronic outlets — the league is doing its best to not let you forget that the 2013 season is about to kick off.

My favorite promotional gimmick though has to be Jersey Week. Though the name sounds worryingly like ill-advised partnership with some Guidos from the shore, it’s actually a week-long unveiling of all the 12 new kits that will be adorned by MLS clubs this season. Though as regular readers know, I’m a sucker for gear, so it probably shouldn’t be that surprising that this would pique my interests.

Adidas and the clubs worked closely on what they wanted out of their kits this year, meaning that many fan’s calls for something different to spice up the MLS jersey scene might just be met. Said Maribeth Towers, MLS senior VP of consumer products in a league statement, “Jersey Week will celebrate the soccer jersey. Every stitch, every minor detail, every shade is designed in collaboration between the club and our partner at adidas.”

But as you might expect, some were smart-looking, “take my money already” designs, while others were… umm, questionable. Let’s take a look at each, and let me pass judgement over them like I could do better.

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ten words or less #63

With my wife sick, this past weekend presented itself as an opportunity for a whirlwind of football viewing here at WSOTP. I’ve not kept any statistics on this kind of thing, but I can say with confidence that I watched more soccer this past weekend than I ever have before. Saturday included a marathon of five straight live games which, between Twitter and A.D.D., my brain had a hard time handling.

ONU Men's Soccer in the Final Four

seeing my alumnus polar bears make their way to the national title game might just have been the highlight of my weekend.

The morning started well with Spurs bagging a win, Arsenal and Chelsea both losing, and an unexpected, entertaining shootout between Manchester United and Reading. And while the (oddly timed) midday MLS Cup Final might have seemed the marquee match, I was really looking forward to watching my former college team — the Ohio Northern University Polar Bears — play in our school’s very first NCAA Division III National Championship match. My former teammate Milky even stopped by to take in both the late matches, also allowing me a solid four hours of Liverpool jibes…

Much to our chagrin, ONU were quickly picked apart by an admittedly impressive Messiah College side. But the result doesn’t dim my pride in my old team for everything they accomplished this year. Considering the program only had 8 winning seasons prior to my class’s arrival on campus, and had never made the National Tournament prior to Milky’s, to see the program continue to build on our successes — even despite a heavy loss — had us both beaming. The sky’s the limit from here, boys.

Anyway, below are some of the better links from around the world of soccer from the last week.

The perfect gift for your soccer fan? Sexy Managers Calendar. – yahoo.com

A photographic essay of grassroots football in third world countries.
- jessicahilltout.com

Beckham’s kids old enough to be called full kit wankers. – angelcitybrigade.net

Carlos Tévez’s paystub will make you very jealous. – dirtytackle.net

Hot Chip makes a seriously WTF FIFA-esque music video. – kckrs.com

Shout out to local Casey Weddle for being named All-American.
- ohiodominicanpanthers.com

“We need to be more assertive,” mumbles Rosický to nobody.
- fistedaway.wordpress.com

Floridian city most likely to land an MLS side… Tampa? – theoffsiderules.com

Once again, Spooky captures how I’m feeling about Spurs. – dearmrlevy.com

 A top-25 list for boots from Sneaker Report… I’m in. – sneakerreport.com

ten words or less #61

Clint Dempsey and his "Deuce Face"

the mere suggestion that there’s been too much footie on lately should immediately inspire “deuce face” like reactions from all of us.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve had a busy schedule lately. Between all of the normal fall activities that need to take place (raking the leaves, wrapping up the amateur league outdoor season, drinking at tailgates, etc.) and real world work, there’s hardly enough time to take in the copious amounts of Champions / Europa League and World Cup qualifying matches that we’ve been treated to lately. Then I remember that, as a guy that claims he’s on the wrong side of the pond because of the lack of football coverage, I’m not really allowed to bitch about having too much soccer to watch. Right?

Right.

So with the idea of “there’s never too much soccer” firmly implanted in our heads, feel free to enjoy some of the best links I’ve unearthed from around the game over the last week to feed your never-ever ending thirst for information about the game.

For the U.S. to progress, choices have to be made. – nytimes.com

Arsenal’s 14 minute flight to Norwich to avoid traffic jams? – telegraph.co.uk

Good guy, Nemanja Vidić. - sportwitness.ning.com

Nike finally pawns off Umbro… will their renaissance will continue?
- footballshirtculture.co.uk

More like the Final Sunset for England’s “Golden Generation”. – grantland.com

Porto’s Miguel Lopes lets you know exactly what he thinks. – dn.pt

Positive developments in the works for the US Soccer pyramid? – mlssoccer.com

Not to self: do not try to rob Leonardo Bonucci. – dirtytackle.net

Nike took Özil to court over his wearing Adidas boots. – soccerreviews.com

Extremely well done stadium art from the always brilliant @miniboro.
- thebeautifulgear.com

ten words or less #59

It’s time for the young 2012-2013 season’s first international break, and contrary to my normal reactions, I’m actually pretty excited for this one. The last few international breaks have featured the USMNT squaring off in friendlies against opponents preparing for other tournaments, meaning they’ve all been devoid of any of the passion and desire that makes an international fixture entertaining. This time, however, the Yanks are actually playing two meaningful, relevant World Cup Qualifying matches.

Columbus Crew Stadium

if you’re heading to c-bus for the 9/11 world cup qualifier against jamaica… be on the lookout for WSOTP!

My excitement is likely also buoyed by the fact that I’m actually heading to one of those relevant matches, the second qualifier against Jamaica in Columbus on 9/11. I’m planning on prowling the Crew Stadium parking lot prior to kickoff to take pictures of the tailgating fans. So if you see me walking around with my wife in the new striped US kit, feel free to stop me and say hello… you might just end up with your face on the blog!

Anyway, here are some links to keep you entertained in the mean time.

Grown men wearing full kits in public. - richardp1975.wordpress.com

Sir Alex personally handling United transition to Guardiola? – mundodeportivo.com

This is seriously big for Australian football. – espnfc.com

I can juggle all the way to… potato. – rasenreich.com

Only a rumor, but potentially bad news for Revs fans. – thedrugisfootball.com

Having conquered one natural disaster, Boca now on to tsunamis. – kckrs.com

The US finally has 24-hour, soccer-only radio! – nasn.tv

Nike’s clever: Iniesta as a puppet with the new CTR360′s. – youtube.com

No more jokes. This is actually getting pretty sad now. – whoateallthepies.tv

The official 2014 World Cup ball’s name… Brazil + Bazooka = BRAZUCA?
- footballshirtculture.com

everyone wants to know something about mario balotelli

Thanks to his match-winning exploits in Italy’s Euro 2012 semifinal against Germany, Manchester City’s Mario Balotelli is once again drawing a huge amount of interest. Standard fare for Super Mario, though it’s admittedly for far better reasons than what he’s normally drawing everyone’s attention for.

balotelli has been a photographer’s dream over the course of euro 2012, and he’s captured the interest on the interwebs in the process.

So with interest in the mercurial front man once again at peak levels, the masses have taken to the internet to learn more about the enigma that is Mario. In fact, since logging his brace against the Germans, Mario’s name has been the most frequently occurring word used in search phrases that have landed visitors on my site… which makes sense, as I’ve written a good deal about the troubled youngster.

But then again, looking at the exact search phrases those Balotelli-searches used to get here, I quickly got a good idea of what his perception is with the general public. The old Google-predictive search test illustrates this point well:

But the thing is, not everyone goes for the run of the mill searches when it comes to Balotelli. In fact, many choose to search from something way outside the norm, like “And for one reason or another, I thought those random searches about Balotelli news were hysterical. So to help myself understand what people could have possibly been looking for,  I took to Google Images with the top five Balotelli search terms that ushered visitors to the site.

Search Term: Balotelli funny

Where to start with this one. Of course, front and center is Super Mario on this super small bike, and that’s plenty “funny” on its own. Is he riding it out of a kitchen, or a mechanical room? I’m not sure, but he looks huge on that thing! Mario, himself, appears to be having a grand old time, too. But where this picture really becomes awesome is in the background: just over Mario’s back, there’s a grown man… with his face… painted like a tiger. What is going on here!?!?!

Search Term: Balotelli Adidas

Balotelli Adidas Back

Let’s get something straight: Balotelli is a Nike athlete, and has been for quite some time. So when I first saw this phrase coming up, I wondered if I had missed him making a shock boot switch during the Germany match. But when I first Googled it myself, this is one of two images that kept coming back up. When Balo ripped off his shirt to celebrate one of his goals, he revealed three strips teal of kineseo taping on his lower back. Reminiscent of the iconic “3 stripes”, some clever internet hooligan quickly dressed the photo to appear like an Adidas ad. Though what I found highly ironic about the image he chose to do above? Balotelli getting a stupid yellow card is as far from impossible as is possible; it’s practically a given.

Search Term: Balotelli crazy

Balotelli Shooting Flames

There are a million images that I could have chosen for the above search term, but this one of a teenage Balotelli creating a MacGyver-style, home-made blow torch I think illustrates it the best. Who knows what he’s using for fuel — my gut tells me hairspray — but after seeing this picture, it makes me think that none of us should have been surprised when he lit his bathroom ablaze with fireworks.

Search Term: Balotelli hair

Balotelli with Valderrama Hair

If there’s one thing that Balotelli has been known for (aside from being an idiot), it’s his dynamic choice in hairstyles. The kid has literally rocked a billion different do’s over the last few years, ranging from tire treads to African abstract art. But the best style I’ve seen him show up in yet hails from the Nike Barbershop adverts, where Balotelli turned down this killer Carlos Valderrama look… the moustache is what really ties it all together.

Search Term: Balotelli King Kong

Balotelli as King Kong in Gazzetta dello Sport

You know something, Sepp Blatter was right when he said there’s no racism in football anymore. There haven’t been any incidents amongst the players, the fans or the press. Just like the image above from Italy’s Gazzetta dello Sport: it’s clearly not racist, right? And since Balotelli was a defender against England, this image makes perfect sense. Wait… none of what I just wrote makes any sense, at all.

ten words or less #51

The New 2012 USA Nike Kits... now with hoops.

in all the hullabaloo yesterday', i somehow missed the USMNT/USWNT kit announcement... we were long overdue for making the same kit for both teams, though i'm still not sold on the hoops.

With the dust having settled after yesterday’s epic announcement, I wanted to extend welcome to all of the new readers who were lucky kind enough to stumble across WSOTP over the last 48 hours. The Cult of Rolfe extends far and wide, and I’ve been mightily impressed at the speed and distance by which they’re able to spread information… you lot had Soccer by Ives tweeting and Taylor Twellman re-tweeting my link within an hour of posting. Stellar work.

Hopefully some of you will stick around to see what else the blog has in store… and maybe disseminate my writing a bit further. But just as I warned on Twitter yesterday, if you’re expecting this space to be inundated solely with Rolfe/Fire news… you might end up a bit disappointed.

Anyway, thanks again for stopping by the blog — whatever your reason — and as a reward just for you, enjoy some of my ten favorite links from the last week.

Solid Euro 2012 infographic to help build the excitement. – betting-guru.com

The official song of Sir Alex Ferguson’s mindgames. – fitbathatba.com

Facepalm Level: Infinity. Worst idea ever to fix US soccer. – businessinsider.com

I need the brown ones, but I want the rest. – nikeinc.com

The only way you could get me to play golf. – golfoot.ch (warning: French)

Spurs vs. Norwich… through the lens of a crack pipe. – dearmrlevy.com

The new Houston Dynamo stadium looks drool worthy.
- youtube.com/houstondynamovideos

Puyol gets his face stapled mid match, like a man. – dirtytackle.net

The Predator line just made a major left turn. – soccerbible.com

An honest look at the urgency for goal line technology. – theseventytwo.com

ten words or less #50

real madrid's cristiano ronaldo showing off his leg

there's been no word yet on whether cristiano will have to cover up his oily thighs when visiting madrid's new island resort in the UAE.

We’ve finally made it to the half century mark for my TWOL series. And to be honest, I’m not entirely sure if I should be celebrating that milestone, seeing as how the series exists simply because I’m a blogger who is too lazy to write his own original content all the time.

Admittedly, I’ve been a bit stretched lately due to an increased workload in my real world job, and moonlighting as a guest blogger on some other sites. But that’s no reason to ignore this space, so my deepest apologies if you’re feeling neglected. I do have some pretty interesting original content in the pipeline for you… though the ten links below will have to suffice as I continue to fine tune the new posts for the limelight.

See WSOTP (#11) on The Football Attic’s “League of Blogs”. – thefootballattic.com

Liverpool has Pinterest: not shocking considering how soft they’ve played. – pinterest.com

We need this in the U.S. far more than the UK. - soccerlens.com

Have you ever wanted to control Arsene’s Swedish dance moves? - fuldans.se

Why MLS should avoid foreigners with a long wrap sheet. – soccerbyives.com

Real builds $1b resort, removes logo’s cross to appease locals. – dirtytackle.net

Your side can’t score? Remind them where the goal is. – 101greatgoals.com

For nerds only: Kit Supplier statistics from around Europe. –  sportundmarkt.com
(warning: PDF download link)

Ronaldo vs Nadal: part of me wishes this was real. - youtube.com/NikeFootball

Pardew likens Ben Arfa to Messi… a.k.a “a stretch”. – bbc.co.uk

ten words or less #48

london 2012's "the albert"

for a ball with such an awesome name, couldn't have adidas gone with a slightly less faded 80's design for the official ball of london 2012?

With less than 30 minutes until kickoff between Spurs and United, I’m a literal train wreck. I’m stressing over Tottenham’s extremely weakened line-up squaring off against a solid looking starting XI for the Red Devils, and the potential repercussions of fielding such a weak squad in such an important match.

The only thing that could keep my mind from going into complete meltdown mode was to finish up this week’s TWOL post… though admittedly, it’s just a temporary reprieve for my fingers from the endless nail-biting that awaits over the next two hours.

This is how you know footballers make too much money. – theoriginalwinger.com

Every Euro 2012 Kit… who’s your favorite? – football-shirts.co.uk

Sadly, this might be the best pitch in Cuba. – kckrs.com

Chelsea are sunk because of… Napoli’s three in the back? – guardian.co.uk

MLS eyeing Florida for expansion; apparently doesn’t learn lessons. – soccerbyives.com

French kiss… quite literally. – kickette.com

I will actually watch more Crew games because of this. - thecrew.com

Suprisingly relevant Will Ferrell link: he apparently loves Chicharito. – dirtytackle.net

If this happened to me, I’d literally shit my pants. – youtube.com

How can one properly celebrate while sitting? Answer: you can’t. – soccernet.com

ten words or less #47

stevenage vs tottenham

the last time the minnows of stevenage graced this blog, it's because their scott laird was punched by one of his own fans as they upset newcastle in last year's FA cup.

If this wasn’t a vintage “FA Cup Magic” weekend, I apparently don’t know what one is. One “upset” was on the cards, as the O’Neil bump effect continued on as Sunderland definitely thumped Arsenal and sent them crashing out at the Stadium of Light. Stevenage triumphantly/frustratingly held — and let’s be honest, outplayed — Spurs, earning themselves a lucrative replay at White Hart Lane. Liverpool thumped an unlucky Brighton side to temporarily re-over-inflate their fan’s expectations for the rest of the season. And Chelsea… well they continued to look piss poor as Birmingham City forced a replay at St. Andrews where they’ve only lost once all season.

The FA Cup’s been enough to fill a hundred story lines on its own, which has predictably delayed my job of finishing my next full length article. So as I struggle to push out the next post, enjoy these articles by writers who are a bit more diligent and focused than myself.

Why Chelsea are stupid not to let Mata reign centrally. – guardian.co.uk

Smart. Someone buy me this. – thebeautifulgear.com

Behind the scenes video from Alex Morgan’s SI photo shoot. – theoriginalwinger.com

Adidas HQ gets a shiny, futuristic makeover. – contemporist.com

Villa taking advice from Cleveland Browns. This will end poorly. – foxsports.com

I bet you didn’t think that futsal was that dangerous. – kickette.com

Potential bidding war brewing? Anfield Cat up for adoption soon. – dirtytackle.net

Am I to take a female “model only” club seriously? – theoffsides.com

Americans buying Tottenham? Not sure how I feel about that. – express.co.uk

This year’s football feel-good story is undoubtedly “Zambia”. – inbedwithmaradona.com