ten words or less #69

Tottenham's Gareth Bale celebrates scoring against Arsenal

look at the joy and elation on every single face in this photograph. including the face of one gareth frank bale.

While I don’t want to gloat over Tottenham’s North London Derby victory on Sunday, I am going to bask in the glory of that victory for just a moment. I want to marvel at Gareth Bale — while we still have him, at least. Can I also shine a spotlight on André Villas-Boas, who so many had doubted, decried and dismissed for a recall of his predecessor before he had even had a chance to prove himself? And too, maybe I should take a second to apologize to Daniel Levy, the man I often attacked during Spurs inactivity during transfer windows. Because right now, sitting in third after a 12 game run that’s gone WTWWWTTTWWWW, I’m feeling pretty good about Spurs.

Though with a tricky trip to Anfield to face a surging Liverpoolside at the weekend — not to mention a Europa League match against our old friends Inter in the midweek — things could go off track quickly if Spurs get too far ahead of themselves. So if for no other reason than to get my mind out of the clouds, here are some of other links to keep me from daydreaming of greatness quite yet.

One reason why Bale is taking the world by storm. - guardian.co.uk

Soccer once had the mighty MLB shaking in it’s boots. – twitter.com/pothunting

This USMNT 2002 photo shoot will haunt your dreams. – nytimes.com

Stylish playmaker prints to hang on your wall. – behance.net

Commitment to a soccer publication can change your life. – inbedwithmaradona.com

Brian Phillips’ intriguing take on El Diego’s past and present. – grantland.com

Alexi discusses football corruption, simulation on the Colbert Report. – colbertnation.com

Berba’s talents are literally endless. – dirtytackle.net

Can’t complain about not being able to watch games anymore. - giltedgesoccer.com

Alright… who wants to get me this? - whoareyadesigns.com

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straitjacket f.c.

No matter where you travel around the globe, there is one thing that is virtual certainty to be found among the local population: crazy people.

Balotelli Straitjacket

the official kit of straitjacket fc

That’s right, crazy people. They are everywhere. Statistics indicate that as many as 1 in 3 people currently have a mental disorder. So if you think of two of your friends, and neither of them are crazy, then you are the crazy one. There’s no sense in denying it. Don’t get mad at me — blame the statisticians if you’re going to blame — so why don’t you calm down and take this pill.

Much better. Now let’s continue.

No matter what walk of life you’re from, nor the social circles in which you associate, there are bound to be a few crazies sprinkled amongst you. And professional footballers are not immune to the statistics either. In fact, they even seem to have a predisposition to it. Maybe it has something to do with the competitive nature of the sport, or perhaps it’s due to having our heads pounded by the ball repetitively throughout our youth. Either way, there do seem to be a lot of mentally unbalanced players out there. Now, I’m not talking about players that make insanely poor choices on the pitch. No, I’m talking about the type of crazy where a player is liable to kung-fu kick a fan behind the sponsor boards.

Which got me to thinking: if I were to name a team composed of the craziest footballers, who would be chosen to pull on the straitjacket kit?

So before I skip off to the local mental ward, I thought it best to define a set of rules for selecting players to a team that should probably be medicated:

  • I’m limiting this list to current footballers, simply because there are far too many former crazy players to fairly make a team. Maradona, di Canio, Gascoigne, Chinaglia, René Higuita, Cantona… you see where I’m going with this.
  • I’ve opted for the trusty 4-3-3 formation to construct my side, simply because we need enough spots for the plethora of unbalanced strikers in the game. Though admittedly, we should probably be starting a side full of keepers if we’re using that logic.
  • I’ll also be selecting a manager, as no proper team can be named without someone to steer the good ship Crazy.
So without further ado, here is who I’d pick for the first ever starting XI for Straitjacket F.C.

ten words or less #53

President Obama and that LA Galaxy

president obama received his official galaxy shirt from landon donovan and a spanish conquistador david beckham.

Now that league champions have been crowned, and European places are (almost) finalized, everyone’s attention has briefly  transitioned from on-field matters to off. Transfer speculation is in full swing, managers have been hired and fired, and agents are busy trying to count their chickens before they’ve hatched, Even the American President has gotten in on the action.

And like every other seasons’ end, I’m struggling to finalize post drafts that I’ve been working on for weeks/months. Some will be trashed, while others might yet see the light of day. So as I busy myself with making such important decisions, here are ten of my favorite  links from the last week to satisfy your quench for footie-related goodness.

Maradona suing Italy for trying to collect his back taxes. – kckrs.com

In case you’ve not seen it, here’s The Two Escobars. – youtube.com

A minimalist’s history of the World Cup. - andrefidusi.com

City might be making another Džeko if they sign Llorente. – inbedwithmaradona.com

Fake country Sealand play their first “international” match. – bbc.co.uk

Spurs’ new Under Armour kits are… surprisingly acceptable.
- reddit.com/user/IamHereForYou

How the players reacted when Hodgson was named England manager.
- theoffside.com

What it takes to put on a live MLS broadcast. – philly.com

United’s signing of Bébé always smelled fishy. – theoriginalwinger.com

Canada and Umbro team up for centenary kit sexiness. – blog.umbro.com

this is bigger than one man

For a long time, I’ve tried my best to avoid the entire “Greatest of All Time” debate. The discussion of anointing any one player as the world’s best ever player is extremely polarizing, so much so that I’ve literally seen a fist fight between friends break out while arguing over the matter. If a mere discussion among friends can lead to such drama, you better believe I’m going to bypass writing down a permanent decision that strangers will have access to and use to judge me in the future.

Lionel Messi of Barcelona

after the performance against bayer leverkusen, leo's practically been anointed by many as the next messiah.

But thanks to Lionel Messi’s recent five-goal performance against Bayer Leverkusen in the Champions League Round of 16, the subject has been thrust back to the forefront. And yet as monumental as Leo’s achievement was, I still hesitate to venture down that path.

Part of my reasoning for wanting to avoid the matter is personal. Though I harbor no emotional connections to the two players in the current era that most often get dragged into the discussion (Cristiano Ronaldo being the other) I realize that my fondness for Real Madrid likely skews my objectivity. Despite both players putting up numbers so insane that it actually justifies a subscription fee to Opta stats to properly comprehend them, my inherent desire — as a fan, mind you — is to dislike Barcelona players and favor Real’s. Throw in the insecurities caused by a decade of second-fiddle status in the rivalry between Madrid and Barça, and you can see why I fear the discussion from a supporter’s perspective.

But the other, more important reason I’ve avoided entering the “world’s greatest ever player” debate is because I think it’s a pretty pointless discussion to begin with.

Firstly, it’s just not possible to accurately compare players from different eras. The game changes so much from one to the next, both through rules changes and tactical evolution, that it’s hard to say whether a player player was truly great, or just played in a generally weaker generation. Nevermind that there’s not really enough footage of some of the older players in consideration (Pelé and Alfredo di Stefano) to adequately compare them on video evidence alone.

Secondly, the wide adoption and rise of professionalism across globe has also raised the bar for greatness in recent times. In the past, being a dedicated professional or being exceptionally fast or strong could give you a leg up on a competition which included players regularly boozing it up the night before matches and/or partaking in a halftime smoke. But in modern football, the playing field has leveled because everyone is fit… with only a few of the partiers straggling along into modern times. So until someone figures out that whole time travel thing, there’s just no way we would know until we had them playing on the same pitch.

Pele, Maradona and Cruyff in the DeLorean

the only way we'd be able to figure out who was the best ever is if doc diego and johan mcfly pick up pelé and come back to the future.

Pretending for a second that Doc Brown’s manipulated DeLorean wasn’t just a figment of a plotline from a drawn out 80′s movie series, let’s imagine we would be able to fetch those other players and bring them back in their primes to face up against today’s best defenses.

Even then, I just don’t know that’s entirely possible to consider all of the variables to accurately assess what makes one player greater than the next at that level. Highlight reels, goal tallies and trophy cabinets only tell us a portion of the story about a player’s greatness. Numerous other intangibles need to be considered to differentiate them from one another. What kind of teammate was/is he? How good were/are his teammates? Was/is he a leader? What kind of impact did/will he have on the game? Et cetera, et cetera.

To put it simply, I think labeling a player as the G.O.A.T. is a pretty subjective conversation. There’s too much to consider, and even if you could, the rose-tinting from observing the game through the lenses of a fan might still taint the decision.

Naming just one player is too precise of a task for the human mind to undertake. It’s not as if each player that’s ever been discussed as a potential best ever candidate has played the exact same way. Diego Maradona, Pelé, or Johan Cruyff all played at that level, but each had their own style and unique gifts which we used to categorize them as “the best”. Just the same, each had his own shortcomings. It’s part of the beauty of the game that there’s no defined template or mold in which a player has to fit to be considered special.

And the thing we all seem to take for granted in the (somewhat) ongoing debate as to who’s the best player in the world — or ever for that matter — is that some generations come and go without producing a player that can even enter the discussion. So as we squabble with one another over who’s the best, we miss the out on the fact that not only do we have a player that’s capable of joining the penultimate pantheon playing at this time… we actually have two.

There’s really no question anymore as to whether or not Messi will join the top pantheon of players. The pint-sized Argentine has given us plenty of reason to contemplate using his name alongside the best ever, and his five goal performance last week underlines that fact.

But if we’re using numbers alone to make that call, at the rate Ronaldo is putting up goals himself, he’s has to at least be in line for consideration too, right? And even if he’s doesn’t end up sitting with the exclusive group at the top, at bare minimum you’d have to place him in the rung just below along with greats such as Ferenc Puskás, Eusébio, Zinedine Zidane, Michel Platini, Franz Beckenbauer and Garrincha.

ronaldo and messi

both of these men are amazing players. shouldn't that be enough?

It’s almost as if they’re two sides to the same coin, each the antithesis of the other. One is pale, the other is tan. Leo is small and stocky, while Cristiano is tall and athletic. Ronaldo is known for his tricks, flash and power, while Messi is known for his vision, touch and poise. Even when looking at their personalities, they’re polar opposites: Leo’s calm, quiet and reserved, while Ronaldo is emotional, egotistical and flamboyant.

Depending on how you look at the discussion, you could even say that Messi’s greatness has been partially driven by Ronaldo’s own ambition to be the best. Though neither would probably ever admit it, the pair undoubtedly push themselves to improve upon the other’s amazing performances — though Ronnie normally proves as much by shooting 800 shots-per-game the day after Leo drops a hat-trick. The best comparison of such a phenomenon is the way that Larry Bird and Magic Johnson pushed one another in the NBA during the 80′s… two fantastically talented rivals repeatedly shoving one another towards greatness.

Would we be able to truly admire and appreciate each of these great players without having the other to compare him against? I’d venture to say yes, but I doubt our understanding of their greatness wouldn’t be as deep without the contrast between the two. I just feel privileged enough to have been here to witness such a rare, dual occurrence of such talented players.

Bottom line and regardless of which player you want to crown as the best, remember that in 20 years we’ll most likely have another player — one unlike we’ve ever seen — who will capture our imaginations and cause us to ponder the great debate all over again. And if we’re really lucky, we’ll get two.

ten words or less #36

freank lampard on andre villas-boas bench

i hate to be frank, but lampard needs to get used to sitting on villas-boas' bench.

Normally, this opening paragraph is an attempt by me to say something interesting, but I know that it likely never is. Yet I still feel the need to write in this space. It just looks better, especially when trying to place an attention grabbing picture at the top of an article. Everybody loves pictures. It’s like I’m conducting one of those tests where a college student will put something completely random in the middle of their paper to see if their professor even reads their entire paper.

Except this isn’t in the middle; this entire introduction is a bunch or pointless babble. And nobody will even notice, because all you want are the links below. Fine… get on with it.

SCIENCE! – plus.maths.org

Initially creative, but eventually pointless, fan protest. – theoffside.com

I wish more clubs would market like Valencia. – kckrs.com

Why is this news!?!? – 101greatgoals.com

If you screw with Maradona’s sign, he will kick you. – dirty tackle @ yahoo.com

Robo-Bob has his work cut out for him in Egypt. – soccernet.com

This is what I like to call “handicapping”. – footballshirtculture.com

Like him or hate him, Warnock’s the reason QPR’s flying. – telegraph.co.uk

ten words or less #28

ronaldo trains with the brazilian national team ahead of his last game for brazil

fat ronaldo looks on as he "trains" with the seleção for the last time.

Summer has arrived with a vengeance in Southwest Ohio. Sweltering temperatures normally reserved for August have plagued those of us living in the humid Ohio/Miami Valley region, causing us to suffocate on the air so thick and heavy that Cristiano would trip over it.

Researching for the blog has been a welcome excuse for me to sit on my couch and enjoy the air conditioning over the last week or so, and today’s post is the beneficiary of said sloth. So if you’re trying to escape the summer heat, why not sit back and check out some of the interesting bits of soccer blabber from around the tubes.

The Gold Cup TV schedule. You should watch it. – totalsoccershow.com

How to build a stalker: step one… – kickette.com

Donor hair: Chicharito, Neville, Fabio, Park, Kuszczak, Berbatov, Obertan? – redcafe.net

Pienaar has to be thinking, “Great… always the same kit.” – footballshirtculture.com

The highlights of the tactical evolution from 2010-2011. – guardian.co.uk

FIFA adds racism to their stable of “awesomeness.” – msn.com

Before Ronaldo. After Ronaldo. - youtube.com

I want to hang these up in my house… tonight. – kckrs.com

ten words or less #27

pique and puyol playing dirty at the arsenal training ground.

professional dicks. can you guys give it a rest already?

i’m breaking own rules on today’s TWOL… i’m posting something other than a single picture, a short introduction, and a 8 links in less than 80 words. the horrors, right?

yup, that’s a video at the bottom. but it’s pretty outstanding, so you’ll have to pardon my lack of consistency.

why you don’t hire maradona as your manager. – surrealfootball.com

asia: wtf. – bbc.co.uk

on the debate rages… – washingtonpost.com

another game to be featured at my future soccer bar. – thebeautifulgear.com

a look back at the 2009 final for united-barcelona. – zonalmarking.net

i want to watch this before every single match. – lfc.tv

to the gallows with the man who doesn’t love stats! – inbedwithmaradona.com

so good, i had to post the video below. – vimeo.com

round up #30

champions league football has understandably dominated the presses lately, even though the premier league is currently the most drama fueled competition on the planet. and as is usually the case when european competition rears its head, i’m feeling a little overwhelmed with all of these different story lines to attempt to follow.

elation is a powerful feeling.

with that in mind, be prepared for today’s edition of the round-up to include a smattering of topics from all over the place.

the sinister ones – therunofplay.com
without a doubt, the title of this article makes me like myself better. a southpaw myself, i feel like we’re not respected enough as a breed. the always excellent bloggers at the run of play, however, do have a load of respect for us lefties. so what if we sit on the same side of the lord as the devil, especially if it makes us more valuable on the pitch.

while we’re on the topic of left footed players, i’d like to also make note of the rise of my kind showing up more frequently on the right side of the pitch. as briefly mentioned in the linked post, the rise to prominence of players like arjen robben, adam johnson, and angel di maria –all lefties that ply their trades on the right wing– is a growing tactical trend in the game. however, i never once considered that something like muscle memory would be the basis for this type of player’s success rates.

javier hernandez: why he’s the joker in ferguson’s pack – soccerlens.com
thank you crashbang at soccer lens for analyzing and answering a question that has been driving me crazy all year: why is chicharito doing so damn good? i have been scratching my head all season trying to figure out just how the young mexican sensation has so quickly adapted to the premier league. he’s obviously a fantastic poacher, clearly from the michael owen vein. but i wondered just why he was so effective at puting notches on the score sheet  when he is clearly the antithesis of the average premier league striker. and as it turns out, it’s his not being a prototypical premier league striker that makes him such a lethal force.

where the dream of soccer lives on – soccernet.com
as i tweeted the other day, i’m really trying to get into MLS this season. while i’m always at least aware of what’s going on in the league, i wouldn’t have ever been able to tell you who the leading MVP candidates are (umm… donovan?), or who the hottest sides in the league are, etc. i wouldn’t really be supporting the game if i wasn’t supporting my own country’s domestic league, would i?

so in the spirit of getting geared up for the MLS season, i highly recommend reading jeff carlisle’s fantastic piece on the culture surrounding the expansion portland timbers. while i was aware of the fervent support for the game in the pacific northwest, i wasn’t aware of how much the grassroots support of the timbers was in the club earning it’s expansion slot. nor was i in the know about the clubs awesome ties to the local microbrew culture… which, if for no other reason, is a great reason to get behind your local team.

Portland Timbers and the Timbers Army

the timbers, much like seattle, come preinstalled with a fantastic fanbase.

pep guardiola the purist and pragmatist oiling barcelona’s machine – guardian.co.uk
another early entry for article of the year, this time from the magificent sid lowe, which details the intricacies of what makes pep such a fantastic manager. nothing in the article is earth shattering or undiscussed, but what it does better than any article about guardiola (that i’ve ever read at least), is paint the complete picture of why he is so great.

though not directly mentioned so much as insinuated in the article, pep has a near-unrivaled ability to be able to strategically shift the attention on or off his squad… much like but in a slightly different way than mourinho. if barça have a negative result, he places all of the blame on himself (where fergie or jose might blame the referees). if the blaugrana win, he heaps all of the praise on the players. compliment this strategy with a club that has fully bought in on his philosophy, not to mention homegrown and collected talent that few clubs can rival, and you have an extremely lethal set of tools to work with. either way you look at it though, guardiola is central to the barcelona’s recent successes.

the slow death of english football – inbedwithmaradona.com
slowly becoming a new favorite blog of mine, IBWM drops another historical analyzation piece that appears to be their bread-and-butter subject matter. while the author perfectly illustrates the history of how professional football has become the ugly, money-hungry beast that it is today, he also foreshadows how this pursuit of profit will eventually be the cause of the league’s demise.

but before we go all platini and curse the premier league for all of the evils it creates in world football, remember that england isn’t the only country with football debt spiraling out of control. yes, england are the flag bearers of this group. but countries like spain, scotland and italy also have storied clubs teetering on the edge of extinction due to debt-leveraged glory chasing.

as much as i despise platini’s self-righteous, double-standard policies, regulating the upcoming financial fair play rules is paramount to the long-term vitality of european professional football. taking further measures will also be necessary, such as forcing the broadcasters to broadcast a more fair percentage of all teams’ games to ensure a more even spread of television revenues. this is a very real threat to every club out there, your’s and mine.

charlie davies emotional postgame interview – theoriginalwinger.com
i’m not going to say much about the video, because i can’t find the words to describe the emotion cd9 shows. the kid has truly been humbled from the hard lessons he has had to learn over the last year and a half , and you can’t help but feel good for him after a night like this. congrats charlie, that night will forever be yours.

 

ten words or less #15

now, which one are you? rafael? fabio? does your manager even know? oh who cares, just get in there.

for a change, i will not talk about anything tottenham or transfer related in this post. none of the following links will cover those topics, for real. consider yourself both lucky and blessed.

some love for a fellow former-dayton resident’s footie blog. – goonersharks.wordpress.com

brad friedel is broke. :( – whoateallthepies.tv

maradona vs. valderrama… in the present. – youtube.com

mourinho’s prematch reports are… a sign of OCD. – bragafut.com

horrid anniversary kits. and where are dude’s boots? – footballshirtculture.com

this is awesome: la furia roja simpson-ized. – reddit.com/user/maese

sir alex is a bastard. – fourfourtwo.com

“mcdonaldization,” while a sweet word, is concerning to me. – inbedwithmaradona.com

ten words or less #14

f.a. cup success sometimes tastes like punches. just ask stevenage's scott laird.

It’s been a fun weekend thanks to the FA Cup, with the world’s oldest football knockout tournament providing a steady stream of great results and entertaining matches (unless you count the drab affair between Man United and Liverpool… snoozefest). If you’re like me, you’re still trying to digest everything that happened this weekend and don’t need to do any heavy thinking. So here’s a quick TWOL to give you some easy reading… no heavy thinking required.

All-time Adidas vs. All-time Nike. who wins? –  footy-boots.com

Nerd alert: I love the design of this blog. - unitedrant.co.uk

Dear Scousers: you probably deserve this. – studs-up.com

Legend. – bbc.co.uk

The Rock’s signature face is Italian at heart. – wikipedia.com

Pretty slick work from a kid with too much time. – youtube.com

How true. – blog.umbro.com

Know your London football supporters. – reddit.com/user/Larph