a troubling transition

The biggest problem with success is replicating it. The blood, sweat and tears that are shed in the process of reaching greatness always takes a drastically larger toll than any champion is willing to admit, and so they’re almost always at the root of the failure to retain their crown.

chelsea celebrating 2011

chelsea's changing of the guard has been anything but a smooth transition.

In professional soccer, this saying rings particularly true.

Success usually means winning the league or advancing to the late stages of drawn-out knock-out competition(s), both of which require a tremendous amount of energy, focus and planning. For instance last season, Barcelona’s two-trophy haul was the product of a 60 match season, and their pint-sized prince Leo Messi played in 55 of those matches. I don’t care how fit you are, nobody can play that many games in 12 months and be fresh for most of the following season.

The prolonged stress on both body and mind normally don’t manifest themselves until the following season, when all of the energy from last season finally catches up with them. It’s for this reason that we have yet to see a club repeat as Champions League winners, and even more rare that we end up seeing teams that are truly dynasties.

Hell, for some teams, just coming close to sustained excellence ends up consuming them. Just look at Chelsea.

Despite pulling in an impressive three League and FA Cup titles each in the last six years, their billionaire owner, Roman Abramovich, has eyes for only one prize: the UEFA Champions League. His vast amount of oily riches has propelled the Blues agonizingly close to his goal on several occasions, but they’ve not been able to clear those last hurdles. And in pursuit of Champions League glory, Abramovich’s actions and itchy trigger finger has left Chelsea teetering precariously in the balance.

In the nine years since the Russian oligarch bought the club from Ken Bates, Abramovich has burned through 6.5 managers (I’m only counting Hiddink as half, since he was technically just an interim manager), some of which were the finest and most successful in the game over the last decade. His tendency to poison relationships with his managers, most notably when the fallout pushed José Mourinho out the door in 2007, has undoubtedly undermined their efforts to be crowned kings of Europe.

chelsea's andre villas-boas

just because AVB doesn't have any grey speckled in his ginger beard (yet) doesn't mean that he isn't a quality manager.

That’s why it’s surprising that when Roman decided to dispatch of Carlo Ancelotti this summer — just a season removed from the Italian leading Chelsea to their first Double in club history — and replaced him with a very young André Villas-Boas, I was still caught off guard by the decision.

Abramovich’s track record with major purchases acquisitions up until last January have almost always had one thing in common: they all had proven track records. Whether it was a player or manager that was being brought to Stanford Bridge, they were already successful in their prior endeavors.

Makélélé, Drogba, Schevchenko, Ballack and Deco were brought in after successful careers abroad. Ca$hley was bribed to swap North London for West London after proving himself, and Anelka had literally played decently for everyone. Likewise, Scolari had won a World Cup, Ancelotti had won two Champions Leagues as a manager and one as a player, and Hiddink has to be some sort of wizard to have pulled off all of the successes he’s had.

But Villas-Boas on the other hand, doesn’t have near the same pedigree. Strike one was always going to be that he never played professionally. Sure, the rosy-cheeked AVB hauled in an impressive two trophies last year in his lone season at the helm of Porto. But prior to that, his only experience as the manager of any professional football team was a surprising 9-month spell with Portuguese minnows Académica de Coimbra. Coupled with his young age, his inexperience in the upper echelons of the game was a stark departure from any of the previous new faces that had been brought in by Chelski.

So while replacing a relatively (by Chelsea definition) successful manager is hard enough at a big club, Villas-Boas was even more under the gun due to these supposed handicaps. Unfortunately, Chelsea’s form so far this season seems to be giving weight all of those fears. And predictably, AVB has been taking the heat for poor results.

And though I love seeing Chelsea in turmoil from a Tottenham fan’s perspective, I don’t think Villas-Boas deserves to be shouldering all of the blame.

One of the biggest issues that most of the punditry thought would undermine Villas-Boas’ legitimacy in the Stamford Bridge dressing room would be his age relative to that of many of the big, influential players at Chelsea. At 36, he’s only three years older than Lampard and Drogba, and a relatively five years older than Terry and Cole. With each of those players casting long shadows of influence at the club (Terry in particular) due to their contributions the last few years, there was always a fear that they would have a hard time taking orders from a man that’s a) never played a minute professionally (though this wasn’t a problem for Mourinho), and b) was significantly younger than anyone else they had ever taken orders from.

It is this power struggle, in my questionably expert opinion, that is the root of the problems at Chelsea. If André Villas-Boas is ever to have any hope of righting the ship and getting Chelsea back to competing for every trophy under the sun, those star names have to go.

And while I’m hardly the first to promote that idea, I think it’s important to examine just why their leaving is so crucial for Chelsea to get back on track..

First and foremost, don’t take my statement above as any sort of slandering of the quality of any of those players. All are still more than capable of playing Premiership football, and I have no doubt that many top teams would love to have them in their sides. However, it is clear that they’re all in the autumn of their careers (though some more so than others).

Normally, a squad full of experienced players would be considered a great asset. But with AVB being brought in by Abramovich to reshape the squad and it’s playing style, these older players tend to become a liability. Remember that one of the main points of beef that Abramovich tends to have with his managers is the style of play they force the team to play. The oil baron yearns for attractive, attacking football similar to that found in Madrid and Barcelona, and heads have rolled when they’ve failed to deliver.

Yet to this point and much to his chagrin, Roman’s most successful appointments have been of the more defensive mindset. Mourinho’s trophies came on the back of highly organized and efficient strangling of the oppositions offense and countering. Ancelotti is Italian… so there’s not much more I need to say about that. This kind of “anti-football” as some have labeled it, requires two things:

  1. A very organized defense-first mentality from the entire team, which often involves sitting deep and allowing the opposition to bring the game to you…
  2. …which leaves loads of space behind them for your team to quickly counter into and score.

Because of this, Chelsea’s current squad was built with a defensive mindset at its core. And with AVB trying to get his Chelsea squad playing with attacking flair, you see where the problems start to develop. If there’s one thing that Barcelona has taught us in the last few years, it’s that offensive, attacking football requires two things from a team:

  1. That your team apply quick pressure high up the pitch, which forces the opposition to cough up the ball earlier and closer to their own goal.
  2. This high pressure requires fit, quick players to apply it appropriately.

Understandably, aging players that have lost a step, or maybe don’t play as quickly as they used to, are far from ideal for this type of system. Lampard, Terry, Drogba

continuing to lean on the fading elder blues will only hamper the club's future prospects.

And the player who highlights this the most is everyone’s favorite punching bag, John Terry. There’s no disputing that Terry was one of the finest center halves of the last decade. His on-pitch leadership abilities, smart distribution, heart, work rate and ability to provide timely runs forward made him a linchpin in Chelsea’s dominance at the turn of the century. But the last two years have been rough on John. His always short temper has gotten shorter, his laziness has increased, and most noticeably, he’s lost some of his pace, too.

Yet, his new manager’s system requires Terry to hold a defensive line that is much higher than what he’s used to. JT’s decreased pace would be cause for concern here, unless he’s partnered in the back by a players that’s fast enough to cover for him. Luckily, the club signed what they hoped would be their center-back-of-the-future David Luiz, a player full of both youth and speed. And all appeared to be falling into place…

Trouble is, both Terry and Luiz are the type of central defender that likes to push forward and launch the attack. With both of them pushing forward and leaving the middle empty, it’s left AVB’s high defensive line extremely vulnerable to the counter attack goals that have plagued them all season. So to help stem the bleeding, Luiz’s susceptibility to caution/ejection has seen him dropped and Terry instead partnered with the more “conservative” Ivanović.

While Luiz’s sacrifice has proven to be marginally more successful as far as immediate results are concerned, it comes off as counterproductive to Villas-Boas’ long-term goal of building an attractive, competitive squad for the future. With a £21 million price tag hanging around his 24-year-old neck, it’s clear Luiz needs to be a cornerstone of that project. Are the short-term results worth  sacrificing the development of the “new” Chelsea squad that the manager is trying to build?

chelsea's meireles, ramires and sturridge

chelsea should rely on their young stars now instead of shelving them for short-term success.

Loads of money has been spent to bring in fresh blood in order to remake the squad, but they need to be playing together as much as possible to build cohesion and gel. Daniel Sturridge (£7 million), Raul Meireles (£12m), Ramires (£17m), Luiz, Juan Mata (£23m) and Fernando Torres (£50m) are all great players that need to grow together as a team, and that can only happen if they can get enough games together. Continuing to rely on Terry and Drogba instead of Luiz and Torres — no more than a temporary band-aid — will just harm their confidence and undermine the goal of creating a team for the future.

Of course, none of this has taken into account the sway that Chelsea’s veteran players still have at the club. The influence that players like Terry still have over their fellow teammates and club management is palpable, and has led to scores of rumors of a divided dressing room at Stamford Bridge. Whether Villas-Boas has more sway at this point remains debatable, and whether he or the elder statesmen of the team leaves first will likely answer that question.

Look, I’m not saying that Villas-Boas is doing a fantastic job and deserves absolute absolution from any of Chelsea’s poor form this season. He’s made plenty of mistakes, for sure, and that’s probably partly due to his age and inexperience and partly due to the normal adjustment time needed to adapt to life in the Premier League.

That said, André has also shown a lot of promise, too. And it’s through that promise that I believe he had to have been smart enough to know that this was the type of season he was facing if he decided to fill the vacant hot seat on Chelsea’s bench this summer. One would also hope that he communicated that to Abramovich when he took the job, buying himself a season or two to transition the club from the current aging squad to a young, competitive squad for the future.

The trouble with transitions — at Roman’s Chelsea anyway — is that they’re expected to be seamless and just as successful as the periods they’re attempting to bridge. His track record of quickly pulling the trigger has blown some of the time with this golden generation, and firing AVB now could set the next generation off-track before it even get’s its feet wet.

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new year’s resolutions

As 2011 winds to a close and the dawn of a new year is upon us, I imagine many of you are in the final stages of planning for the annual — and often eventually pointless — ritual called “New Year’s Resolutions”. Every year, millions around the world make commitments to achieve personal goals over the next year such as losing a set amount of weight, breaking bad habits or forming good new ones.

times square soccer ball

now that a very soccer ball-ish times square ball has dropped, it's time to think about what we want to have happen in 2012

However, despite these resolutions generally being made with the best of intentions, for one reason or another, we normally have a hard time keeping them. Scientists tell us that only 12% of all of New Year’s Resolutions are actually met by year’s end, a rate poor enough to make you wonder why we even make them in the first place.

Personally, I like to take the easy way out by not botering to make resolutions, period. By taking this approach, it prevents me from feeling disappointed when I don’t meet the overly ambitious targets I always end up setting for myself. After all, the easiest goals to achieve are the one’s you never make… or something like that.

But just because I don’t set my own resolutions, that doesn’t mean that I can’t make empty promises for other people instead.

Why pass up soaking in all of the instant gratification of setting ambitious goals, especially when I’m not responsible for any of the work that goes into turning dreams into reality?!

With that in mind, I present to you my idealistic 2012 World Football New Year’s Resolutions list:

For Mario Balotelli to keep being… Mario Balotelli

 balotelli why always me

i don't know why, mario... but let's hope it stays that way.

To say that the young Manchester City starlet has endured a roller coaster 2011 might just be the understatement of the year. From the highs of driving around Manchester’s city centre in a convertible giving fans high fives, to the lows of lighting his own bathroom on fire with fireworks, the Italian starlet has been nothing short of a machine at producing ridiculous headlines. He seems more at home in a made-up comic strip than in the life of a real, live professional athlete. And that’s just the way we like it, especially since he tends to make my job writing significantly easier. So please, Super Mario, don’t go changing anything. Just keep being you: it’s what you do best.

For Jürgen Klinsmann to show his grand USMNT experiment is actually working.

Now, don’t take this the wrong way. I’m all for Klinsmann’s efforts to reshape the national team and build it a new identity, and I know that this transformation won’t happen overnight. It needs some time to set in, like any master plan, and I feel like a pretty patient guy. However, it’s hard to stomach loses and ties against sides that we had been — and should still be — beating. I’m not asking for us to start rolling over Mexico like the Spanish would Andorra, but I would prefer to see us start stringing together some positive results sooner rather than later. A continued run of bad showings could, after all, have a devastating impact on the team’s moral and confidence. And that’s definitely not something we need heading into World Cup qualifying.

For John Terry to finally get what’s coming to him.

I’ve made no secret for my distaste for Terry in this space, so it’s not surprising that I would want for fate to finally catch up with the bastard in 2012. And even though I don’t need to recant all of his sins since most of them have played out publicly, I still want to. So, here’s why John’s karma is long overdue to bite Mr. Chelsea: 2001) drunkenly taunts American tourists at Heathrow airport immediately after 9/11, 2002) charged with assault for an altercation with a nightclub bouncer, 2009) takes cash bribes to give unauthorized tours of Chelsea’s Stamford Bridge, 2010) may or may not have had an affair with a former teammate/friend’s baby mama, 2011) racially abuses the younger brother of international teammate during a match. Even though he’s been “cleared” in a majority of those cases, how can one guy be investigated for so many claims and they all be false? Oh yeah, they can’t. Cue the Law & Order dun-dun!

For Jose Mourinho to finally to overhaul Barcelona as the best side in Spain.

mourinho eye poke

if mourinho doesn't come out on top soon, i fear for eyes the world over.

I know it’s pretty unrealistic to think this could happen in the 2012 calendar year, despite the fact that Real are currently three points clear of rivals Barça going into the Winter Break. Pep Guardiola and his men definitely still have a death-grip like hold over Mourinho and his charges’ confidence, as is evident with their impressive strings of results in the multitude of Clásicos in 2011. And while I’d love to see Los Blancos regain the edge in the rivalry for reasons that include restoring “parity” to Spain (and I very loosely use the word parity considering it’s a league where only two teams ever win) and being a fan, my main reason for wanting to see Mourinho finally overcome his demons is much, much more important. You see, I fear that if the Special One’s galácticos don’t take over the crown as Spain’s best soon, I think he’s going to poke out EVERYONE’s eyes.

For Alex Morgan to increase the number of shoots she books like this one.

So what if I’m married? I’m allowed to have internet crushes on attractive celebrities just like anyone else. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with desiring to see more scantily clad pictures of my chosen crush. I mean as far as the picture shown, it underlines her ability to look attractive in both classy and sporty attire, not to mention her ability to knock the balls around… knock balls around the pitch you dirty perverts. And thanks to the WUSA WPS getting a renewed lease on life from US Soccer, Miss Morgan should stay in the limelight just a little bit more.

For Daniel Levy to not only continue sticking to his guns on not selling, but also pull the trigger on some big buys too.

Look, I’m stoked that the Tottenham chairman told Chelsea to shove their £40 million for Modrić where the sun doesn’t shine over the summer. It showed ambition, and sent a message to the rest of the growing egos in the locker room that nobody was bigger than the club. But aside from the last minute swoop for Rafa van der Vaart two summers ago and the bargain buying of Scott Parker from a desperate-for-cash West Ham, Levy hasn’t exactly shown any willingness to spend to match the club’s ambition. Though the free signing of Brad Friedel and the short-term solution of Adebayor up top have proven to be shrewd bits of business, the club desperately need to make a statement buy. Otherwise, can Spurs really consider themselves title challengers if we’re the only side that’s not continuously bringing in world class, young talent? I don’t think so.

For Neymar to finally move to a team in Europe, and for said team, to make him cut his hair.

neymar and his hair

hey, rufio. leave your hair in brazil once you leave for europe.

It might just be me, but I’ve grown extremely tired of the weekly Neymar transfer rumors. At this point, I’m not sure if the constant stream of “done deal” rumors to Real Madrid/Barcelona are actually true, or if it’s just an elaborate ruse by Santos to raise their asking price for the extremely talented young starlet. And if anything was learned from Barcelona wiping the floor with Santos at the Club World Cup final, it’s that Neymar needs to move on to a club where he’ll be pushed to raise the level of his game… and that clearly can’t happen in Brazil. And let’s be honest, a classier club will actually make the kid cut off his stupid rooster hair so he looks like a proper footballer.

For Blackburn Rovers owners Venkeys to finally put their manager out of his misery.

Don’t let yesterday’s upset win away at Old Trafford fool you: even a blind squirrel finds a nut from time to time. Said plainly, Rovers boss Steve Keane is not a Premier League caliber manager. The rumors of his impending sacking have been circulating since at least the tail end of last season. And to be completely honest with you, I have no clue how he’s still in his job. The Ewood Park outfit have struggled in nearly every department on field this season, and the fans have stood in unison for months saying that want the poor guy out. Maybe the Venkeys think they can save themselves from the drop if they just stick it out with the same manager all season, who knows. But regardless of whether you have a shit manager or not, if you don’t end up spending a significant amount of money to bring in fresh blood this January, you are going down.

For Carlos Tévez to end up at A.C. Milan.

With the dispute between Carlitos and City having now extended an entire half of a season, the Citizens are finally ready to rid themselves of this headache permanently. And luckily, they’ve lowered their asking price enough that a few other clubs are at least considering the thought of making a move for the temperamental striker. Though Corinthians have renewed their interest, the club making the most noise about signing Tévez are the Rosaneri. So why do I want him to end up there? Well, if Carlos is signed permanently, Milan will have the undisputed craziest front line in the world: Robinho (the brat), Pato (the indifferent), Cassano (the mad hatter), Ibrahimović (the bully) and Tévez (the ego). And with Silvio Berlusconi resuming his duties as club chairman, I’m really hoping he forces Allegri to play all five of them at once.

And lastly, for Fernando Torres to keep looking like this:

sulking torres on chelsea bench

a big dose of “aww”

As a married man that has yet to have his first kid, sometimes I feel like I’m constantly feeling pressure to start making babies.

angry feyenoord baby

while i want my eventual offspring to be a fan of football, THIS type of child fan might be a bit over the top.

My high school friends are starting to have kids, as are a few from college. There’s must be something in the water at work, as there at minimum five pregnant ladies wandering around the office right now. And anytime I bring up my wife around any of the lot, they feel it necessary to let me know that I’m effectively “on deck”. Hell, when we got a puppy a while back, my mother-in-law told us we should have had a baby instead.

It’s not that I don’t want to have kids, I just don’t want them yet. Considering that’s it’s a tiny miracle that I’m actually able to make it to work each day on time, it would be safe to say that I’m maybe not quite mature enough for that kind of responsibility yet.

Thankfully, my lovely wife has agreed to postpone having children, for a little while at least. I convinced her it’s so we can enjoy each other’s company sans-children, take some trips, etc. However — and perhaps more importantly — by delaying having a baby, I’ll still have the energy to get up and watch early morning soccer matches each weekend. Also thankfully, my wife very rarely reads my posts.

So, imagine my surprise this morning that, while I’m reading through my normal morning blogroll, I found myself thinking I wanted to have a kid of my own.

But, not just any kid. I want this kid:

How freaking awesome is he?!?! He knows damn near every player’s name, and he’s what, 6 or 7 at the most? And not only does he know their names, but he’s genuinely having his mind blown by seeing his Spanish heroes. That’s not to mention that he’s not even Spanish: he’s actually Costa Rican! I doubt there are more than a handful of 6-year-old grommets in the entirety of the US that can name half of the USMNT players on site, let alone the players from another country.

For those concerned that the poor little guy’s hopes were crushed because most of La Furia Roja passed him by despite his ear-splitting screams (I’m sure Carlos Puyol’s ears are still ringing after he decided to quickly bypass the youngster), worry not. As this linked video shows at the 3:08 mark, he was actually able meet a few of the stars. But that wasn’t enough for this young fanatic, as he was even so bold as to pet Fernando Torres’ magnificent blonde mop!

What… a… badass!

Now, I am perfectly aware I can’t have this particular kid. I’m sure his parents would certainly balk at the idea, not to mention the whole language barrier thing that might prove a tad problematic as well. So that leaves me only to hope that my eventual child will be half as awesome as this footy-obsessed toddler.

Sadly, that’s also making a big assumption that I won’t smother him/her so much with soccer that they end up hating the sport and preferring that disgusting gridiron variety just to spite me.

the keys to the car

do you remember the first time you ever got to drive a car? i do. i remember feeling like i was a badass. “look at me, driving around with all of the other adults,” i recall thinking, despite the fact that i was just a naïve, pimply-faced 16 year old that was still struggling to control my pubescent hormones. but none of my character flaws (ADD, immortal, egotistic, etc.) mattered, because i was driving a freaking motorized vehicle like a grown up.

much like every other car-crazed 16 year old, i went flying about the streets of southwest ohio like a bat out of hell. seeing as how i was invincible at the time, i thought nothing of breaking speeding laws because i was an adult and i could handle it. blast the music and roll the windows down? sure… i could even handle four more distractions, so i’m going to pick up my friends now.

tim ream of the united states

ream took a beating last night, but also showed promise.

of course, this attitude eventually lead to trouble. six months into having a drivers license, i had rear ended two cars, a speeding ticket, and a trip to juvenile traffic court all resulted.

clearly, i was in over my head and i wasn’t ready for the responsibility of driving the car.

some might say that it’s my parents fault for giving me the keys to the car too early, as they failed to recognize that i wasn’t ready to handle the privilege of driving. but i disagree, and instead think my parents did the right thing. while i suspect they did recognize that i was probably too immature to step behind the wheel of the car aged just 16, they probably also knew that you have to let the chicks leave the nest at some point. it’s often said that learning by experience is the best way to learn, and while i often learned lessons the hard way (and still do), those early miscues eventually made me a better driver.

moral of the story: sometimes you have to let your kids to do things that they’re probably not ready for, just so they can learn a necessary lesson or two.

in last night’s gold cup tune-up against spain, USMNT coach robo-bob bradley did exactly that: he gave the keys to the car to the america’s next generation of footballers. and predictably, they crashed and burned like your average 16-year-old driver.

at this point, there’s little doubting that the americans are a nation on the rise on the international stage. we’ve had some respectable showings at recent world cups, made the final or the confederations cup, and have finally become a dominant force in our own region. but all of this success has come mainly on the backs of a core group of established veterans: donovan, dempsey, howard, onyewu, cherundulo, bocanegra, etc. and while these guys are all at or around their peak playing years, they’re all closer to the ends of their careers than the beginnings. we can’t continue to expect them to play every game from here until the end of time, so we’re going to need some young guys to step up and show they can contribute.

and honestly, what better way to test your youngsters than against the world’s indisputably best team who is looking for a bit of revenge for the defeat in the confederations cup two years ago? quite the trial by fire if you ask me.

in last night’s 0-4 drubbing, the US started nine players with less than 35 caps. of those, four were earning their fifth cap or less… two occupying spots in the american’s extremely leaky first half back line. two of the subs brought in during the second half had less 30 caps between them. so to say this was an inexperienced teamsheet tonight would be an understatement.

so with that in mind, maybe we should have expected an outcome like this. while i expected spain to come out winners, i also thought bob’s bhoys might keep the scoreline respectable. instead we received what can either be interpreted as a masterclass lesson in how not to play in the future, or a gigantic warning sign that the USMNT’s future isn’t quite as bright as we’ve quickly gotten used to during to.

for some players, last night was probably an excellent learning experience. tim ream was out worked by a physical álvaro negredo several times (especially on negredo’s off the bar chip), but i think last night’s bruises will taught the young big man an important lesson or two. and though juan agudelo didn’t live up to his hype, he showed some flashes against a very experienced and organized spanish defense. goodson showed well in the second half in the back, but was caught out for torres late ego-boosting goal. let’s just hope the fresh blood in the team took something from this moving forward, and will be better drivers moving forward for it.

robbie rogers takes on sergio ramos

rogers might not be able to cut it at this level.

unfortunately, i think this match also might have been the first nails in a few players’ coffins. jonathan spector, despite being a “veteran” with 31 caps, continued to show he can’t cut the mustard at the top of the game: he was too slow in decision making regardless of the position he played. robbie rogers again looked to be in way over his head when playing against the world’s elite. kljestan, another one of my favorite whipping boys, put in another indifferent performance. the 25 year-old would have needed to put in a massive performance to convince me to be impressed with him in the slightest. i’d like to be critical of altidore, but he rarely saw the ball… maybe because he didn’t work hard enough to find it?

either way, maybe there are some guys in bradley’s young contingent that don’t quite deserve to be the ones driving this team forward.

luckily, bob realized at half time that he needed to stop the bleeding and put in some of his big guns. the addition of dempsey, cherundolo and bradley certainly brought some calm to the side. but again, it took the addition of the old guard to make it a respectable match.

let’s be honest though too: the americans are not going to face a team like spain in the gold cup. that’s not to say that the won’t be facing any quality sides in the regional championship, but there should be enough talent in the squad to challenge the mexicans for the title, especially since bradley will have his best available for the tournament. but whether or not the young lads can shake off the ass kicking from the spanish in time for the first match against canada might be a more important thought to ponder at this point though.

who knows: maybe some of the youngsters will step up, showing they belong up here with all of the adults. but eventually, the next generation of yanks need to start carrying their weight and contributing, or all of the progress we’ve made in the last 12 years will be for nought.

ten words or less #25

a linesman smoking

linesman in the norwegian 5th division can multi-task.

Wow, we’ve already reached the quarter century mark for the Ten Words or Less series? What a momentous occasion.

I thought about doing some sort of theme for this special milestone post — only links to video of players tripping during training, links to pictures of footballers eating with their families, etc. — but it turns out that such a task would be a lot more work than I’m usually willing to devote posts that are supposed to be “short and easy.”

So basically, I’m saying you that you need to thank me for sparing you a stupid post. Because this one isn’t one.

Barcelona’s La Masia training video? – youtube.com

How do you not love the Timbers fanbase? – brentdiskin.com

“If all shots off the bars had gone in” table. – whoateallthepies.tv

Well no wonder he finally put one in. – reddit.com/user/yflmd

Find out if you make more than any MLS player. – mlsplayers.com

Harsh those Blackpool fans are. – thespoiler.co.uk

Reality checks feel like a stomach punch. – afootballreport.com

Calm down Noel Gallagher. We all hate Gary Neville. – kickette.com

ten words or less #16

can somebody please tell robot jr. that he is supposed to be happy?

looking back over my last few posts, and i feel like i’m a scouser all of the sudden. if it weren’t for all of the other postings being about tottenham, i would understand it if you thought i had switched allegiances. though you have to admit: those boys in red have been quite the soap opera lately, haven’t they?

anyway, here are some of my favorite links from the last few days:

any way this team doesn’t average 10 cards per game? – unprofessionalfoul.com

cristiano ronaldo: toying with defenders since 1983. – dirty tackle @ yahoo.com

you have to admire how this scouser’s handling adversity. – reddit.com/user/porrridge

here’s hoping he doesn’t bleed all over her. – caughtoffside.com

this is why i debate having children. – inbedwithmaradona.com

nobody, not anyone, could possibly dislike this outcome. – whoateallthepies.tv

a perfect definition of the ethos of real madrid. – runofplay.com

this makes me a fan of glen hoddle. – bbc.co.uk

transfer madness

the biggest move of the window involves a soulless traitor and a russian billionaire. i'll let you figure it out from there.

let’s begin this by saying that i will not be making this post an up-to-the-minute, one-stop-shop, complete directory for all of the transfers and rumors that will be spilling out of the media outlets today. this is still a one man show, and i certainly don’t have the patience or the fortitude to undertake that kind of endeavor. we’ll leave that to the big boys. oh yeah, and i’m at work (please don’t tell my boss, ok?!).

but, i figured you might find it entertaining to read my thoughts, and those of some friends, as the news comes across the wire.

  • 6:26pm EST: jozy altidore on the move again (about as shocking as dos santos), this time loaned to levante. maybe this time he’ll get a chance, or not squander one.
  • 5:50pm EST: seeing that giovanni dos santos has been loaned out again by spurs; just another january for the youngster. also, harry has had a second bid for everton’s phil neville rejected and i’m just fine with that from a personal standpoint.
  • 4:14pm EST: laregly dead in the transfer market over the last year, chelsea have certainly sprung to life today! maybe abromovic is feeling fiscally  inadequate after being shown up in the last few transfer windows by man city!  despite already forking out £45+ million for torres, they have also somehow resurrected their move for benfica’s highly rated david luiz. though the £25 million-rated luiz is likely to be used as a centerback, he is more than capable of playing on the left as well. perhaps this is foreshadowing ashley cole’s departure to real madrid in the summer?
  • 3:52pm EST: again, i find myself rooting for bolton. blah. anyway, i’m actually pulling for the wanderers to nab chelsea’s daniel sturridge on loan. the young striker has huuuuge upside, and i think he’d flourish in bolton’s quasi-free flowing attack under owen coy’s tutelage.
  • 3:29pm EST: remember the nigerian midget that scored all of those goals for newcastle a few years ago? he’s coming back to england, as birmingham have opted against a pricy robbie kean and have instead picked up obafemi martins on a 6 month loan from rubin kazan. my guess is the nigerian is really looking forward to england’s comparably “tropical climate” after spending the last year and a half in russia.
  • 3:08pm EST: just noticed that stoke have sold tuncay to wolfsburg. 1) i thought that guy was like 40 years old, and feel dumb realizing he’s only 29. 2) i didn’t realize anyone was still interested in signing players that everyone thinks are 40… oh wait, it’s steve mcclaren. now i get it.
  • 2:15pm EST: another USMNT member’s move to england has been been finalized, with former real salt lake striker robbie findley finally receiving his work permit to join nottingham forest. i actually really like this move for findley, as the championship contenders are on the rise and will provide him with a great environment to test himself as the club push for promotion to the promised land.
  • 2:02pm EST: allow me to clarify my statement about hating torres. he’s played nearly this whole season completely indifferent, after the kop stood behind him when he obviously fake-pledged his commitment to the club after the world cup. then he puts in a transfer request 3 days before the end of the window. if it weren’t for the fact that liverpool will never get more for him now than they ever would again, i’d say let him rot in the reserves before selling him the summer. i like the guy before all of this, and honestly felt bad for him while he suffered through liverpool’s downward spiral. now i hope he blows his groin up again on his debut at stamford bridge.
  • 2:01pm EST: shit has hit the fan, as liverpool have accepted a bid from chelsea for torres. i now hate him.
  • 12:35pm EST: my buddy milky just skyped me from china, basically trumpeting that liverpool are on their way back to being title challengers thanks to the carroll signing. as he put it, “we’ve got the meanest strike partnership in england now: suarez bites people, and carroll beats women. with king kenny leading the way, we’ll be unstoppable!”
  • 12:31pm EST: well, the andy carroll saga has come to an end, and sadly (i think!?) it’s not going to end in north london. newcastle’s shrewd business mentality has won them an extra £5 million from liverpool, who must be looking for a replacement for a “possibly” departing striker.
  • 9:38am EST: michael bradley is definitely heading to england, and not turkey. after apparently almost boarding a plane to sign with galatasary, it appears that son of i-robot will be plying his trade with darren bent at aston villa. with fellow yanks friedel and lichaj in the ranks, hopefully he’ll adjust to life quickly. whether or not he can find a spot in the squad, i have my concerns.
  • 9:19am EST: charlie adam would be a great signing for liverpool, as it would finally give them someone to replace xabi alonso with. whether or not the red’s fork out enough to convince holloway to let his most vital cog go, that’s another question all together. two bids already rejected make me think no.
  • 9:13am EST: tottenham have been linked with every striker in europe today, at least that’s what it feels like. in order, here’s how i rank all of the prospects, in order. take this all with a grain of salt though: i’m definitely expecting the same three strikers to be at the club tomorrow that are here today.
    • luis fabiano: speed, strength, and creative. dynamic finisher. i want him most of all of them.
    • diego forlán: my second choice by a narrow margin, but behind fabiano due to his old age (31) and poor strike rate while at manchester united a few years back. however, his goal tallies at the world cup and in spain the last few years make him an ideal spot.
    • fernando llorente: strength and size, with the ability to play some tiki taka. would be ideal for bale crosses, but would require lennon to learn how to do that. too bad athletic bilbao won’t sell until the summer, when madrid will likely snatch him up.
    • andy carroll: a sllightly more brute and less skilled version of llorente, but with premier league experience. i’m also concerned he could be a flash in the pan.
    • giuseppe rossi: a younger, more creative defoe. though i don’t think he gives us another dimension.
    • sergio agüero: i think he’s overrated, and his height is concerning. i feel like he doesn’t bring enough to the table for a team that likes to play down the flanks. plus he signed a new contract with atlético today.
  • 8:51am EST: in my opinion, newcastle are playing an interesting game with andy carroll. they saw how much dzeko went for (£32 million at age of 24), and they saw how much bent went for (£22 million at age of 26), so the precedent has already been set for strikers this window. carroll is 22, a physical freak, and has some experience plundering goals in the premier league… so his upside is pretty big. now, are any of these players really worth this much money… no. but i think the geordies are being fairly shrewd businessmen. whether or not he goes to liverpool is another issue altogether.

the dangers of demand

i don’t know about the rest of you, but my fantasy team is taking a beating this season. it’s like any semblance of any football understanding has vacated my brain, rendering the equivalent of this type of soccer fan. i just can’t figure it out this year, and it’s infuriating.

even ironmen like kuyt are being over-exerted.

in fact, unless you can somehow swing starting chelsea’s staring XI, you’re probably not doing all that well. i suppose it’s not all that surprising to see the best fantasy players coming from the team that’s sitting at the top of the table. well, that and some fat dude named charlie adam that plays for blackpool. but it is surprising to not see more players from man city, tottenham or arsenal pushing into the top points earners as much as you would think. why is that?

maybe it’s because we are over playing our great players.

injuries to prominent players are on the rise, up 62% in recent years… at least according to a poll i just made up. regardless of whether my statistics are made up or not, just looking at the gamut of class players that are currently crocked (or have been recently) is telling enough:

cesc fabregas, wayne rooney (at least in the head), xavi, robin van persie (mr. glass is always hurt) rio ferdinand, fernando torres (mrs. glass on the account of his hair), cristiano ronaldo, jermaine defoe, leo messi, frank lampard, dirk kuyt.

it’s a lengthy list to say the least, and one that’s sure to grow… especially if we start counting all of the people nigel de jong is gunning to destroy.

part of this, as fans, is our fault: we created the demand. we want to see our favorite players where we live, not just on the boob tube. and in order to make that possible, clubs head out on the road in the summer to play pre-season matches in far flung locations like america, australia and the far east. our thirst for top level football is out of control.

and where there is high demand, there is money to be made. and where there is money to be made, exploitation will occur. the only reason these clubs go on these preseason tours, keeping in mind that these are unnecessary games, is to reap the financial rewards of said tours. schedule five matches, mainly play reserve players while easing your stars in and out of those matches, and charge the same for tickets that you would back home for regular season matches that actually count for something, profit.

remember, we haven’t even thrown in the added grind of national team duties. how many of the players on the list above played at the world cup this summer? oh yeah, all of them. a hypothetical star player could be playing in up to 80 competitive matches in a world cup or european championship year. look at how many injuries those same players picked up while playing/training with the national team.

the problem isn’t that the clubs/fa’s and moneymakers are exploiting the demand we created for our money. no the problem is the clubs/countries are exploiting their players for our money.

now i’m sure some of you out there are saying, “it’s not like these guys aren’t being lavishly rewarded for this ‘abuse’ they’re suffering.” and you’re right, they are being paid what some would call a decent wage. but the price many of them are paying for it is their bodies.

let’s take michael essien as an example. the chelsea man is, in my not so humble opinion, one of the best all around footballers on the planet (you can literally play him anywhere). he’s a vital cog in the blues domestic and european efforts, as well as featuring as the talisman for his national team, ghana.

in september of 2008 essien blew out his ACL  for ghana, prompting fears of him missing the entire 2008-2009 season. though essien was back in march of 2009, he didn’t regain full fitness until the start of the next club season. he fought with the injury in the lead up to the ridiculously-timed african cup of nations, where many speculated it would be a bad place to play him when the team had already qualified for the world cup. ignoring the advice of experts, they rushed him back to play and he reinjured the knee, forcing him to miss all of the rest of the 2009-2010 club season and the world cup.

maybe if we didn't place so much strain on his obviously fragile body, we would be able to enjoy the abilities of a truly fit torres.

i’ve long speculated that fernando torres’ chronic injury issues are tied to the fact that he’s been rushed back multiple times to play in big games for liverpool and spain. relatively young players like cesc fàbregas have been burning the candle at both ends for a solid six years now. look at how he’s falling to pieces at a more regular rate. could all of the games he’s logged on his young legs be the cause of his body falling apart at a younger age than expected? jack wilshire, please be taking notes.

look, i know that this is the part of the sacrifice you make to get the benefits of the commercialization of the game (like me even being able to watch multiple european games a week from my living room). but i worry that if we keep pressing these guys to play more than they can actually handle, that we’ll really be limiting the amount of time we’ll be able to enjoy watching them play.

it’s a viscious circle, and one that i don’t think we’ll be seeing an end to any time soon.

round up #20

so much to read. so many games to watch. not enough time to read, watch and post.

i organize the stories i find interesting on sticky notes on my desktop. in a typical week, i’ll collect fifteen which i whittle down to my top five (sometimes six). this week, there are at least 40. this list is overwhelming. i’ve got maybe ten links on my shortlist this week that are approaching a month old, and i’m adding two or three daily.

needless to say, it’s getting out of hand and my ADD is at full strength.

pep guardiola has had some minor success at barcelona, and pressing has a lot to do with it.

i’m not going to lie: i’m pretty curious to see how this round up turns out…

the question: why is pressing so crucial in the modern game – guardian.co.uk
as much as i would prefer to not speak about last saturday’s horrendous el clásico result, barcelona have certainly earned their praise this season. i mean, real madrid have spent the equivalent of building a space station, and they still can’t shut down barcelona’s homegrown, well tuned machine. arsenal are often considered the only team to play somewhat like the catalunyans, but barça clearly demonstrated why they’re still the masters at playing a truly beautiful game.

so how are they doing it? this link answers that question, as the author brilliantly breaks down why barcelona are destroying everyone’s hopes and dreams. this is the best article i’ve read this year. hands down.

are cska sofia the most dysfunctional team in europe? – thespoiler.co.uk
i know i’ve brought up the horrid british soap opera dreamteam on the blog before, and that i’ve said that liverpool were the closest thing to the show in real life. but i think i’m going to have to revoke the title from the merrysiders, as a bulgarian side clearly deserves it. i won’t spoil the article for you by giving away the list of drama that this club has gone through recently, bu i will tell you that it contains at least the following: their stadium has been condemned, their fans stormed the pitch and earned the club a stadium ban, and a kidnapping involving a celebrity. yep, a real life kidnapping. awesome. and just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, i’ll blow your mind a little more. all of the nonsense happened within a week. sorry liverpool, another title of yours is gone.

the firesale at chelsea must include drogba, ballack and deco – thetimes.co.uk
personally, this link comes off as a little crazy. one might think that just by looking at the title, and i wouldn’t fault them for that. why would anyone sell drogba or ballack? just like deco, the crazed east german and the oft-enraged ivorian are on the dark side of 30. their playing on borrowed time, and the future will be bleak if the blues don’t get any value out of them before they retire. since that’s obviously the reason why i feel like the title isn’t the crazy part, let me explain to you what it is.

it’s the author’s crazed replacement plans that have my head spinning. replace drogba with fernando torres (if he goes anywhere else in england, it’s either chelsea or city as they’re the only ones who will fork up the needed moneys). deco out, everton’s mikel arteta in (brilliant move that wouldn’t cost chelsea too much). and ballack can be replaced by another toffee, steven pienaar (a personal favorite, but there’s an impending bidding war for his services). could this newly constructed team, full of the arrival of fresh blood funded by the sales of chelsea stars of yesteryear, actually win them the league? i just don’t see that happening, mostly due to the nature of these arrivals making too much sense.

messi has few fans in argentina – guardian.co.uk
ok, my apologies for pulling out the crazy link card on the last story because this one should surely take that by title alone, right? in my opinion, no… not really.

messi, despite his obvious, jaw-dropping abilities, hasn’t played a bit of professional club football in his homeland. he left for greener pastures (and growth hormone therapy because he is a midget) at the age of 13, landing at barcelona’s youth academy. and to the typical argentinian fan, you have to prove your loyalty and worth before they will call you the next savior. tévez, riquelme, and that one dude maradona all earned their stripes at boca juniors. crespo, saviola, and aimar all at river plate.

my club's home pitch looks nothing like this. and suddenly, i'm depressed.

you can then couple messi’s unearned respect with his relatively tame performances with the national team (probably more due to coaching and deployment), and you can begin to understand why he may not be the average argentinian fan’s favorite player. but still, for a country that’s constantly looking for the next maradona to simply overlook the most similar player to maradona they will ever get because he hasn’t won their hearts yet… i will definitely call that crazy.

european fields: the landscape of lower league football – hansvandermeer.nl
i don’t know about you, but sometimes i’m a sucker for good works for art. combine football with art, and now you’ve really got me hooked. well this dutch photographer (hans van der meer) has done just that. but instead of traversing europe taking fancy pictures of big time clubs, hans decided he would capture scenes from sunday league and pub teams. and all i can say is, playing amateur men’s in ohio sucks when compared to most of the places my european counterparts get to play.

liverpool = lindsay lohan

I know I’m stating the obvious right now, but Liverpool are a mess.

Top to bottom, the club is pitiful. Nobody is living up to expectations, and nobody is doing their job the way they should. Not the owners, not the board, not the manager, not the players… no one.

liverpool’s current situation is the lindsay on the left. although their fans always start off the season with the hopes that the club will be like the lohan on the right.

And you know what, there’s really only one way to adequately explain Liverpool at the moment: they are the footballing world’s version of Lindsay Lohan. I know this may seem like an incredibly off the mark analogy to come up with, but just try to think about it for a few minutes. The more I think about it, the more sense it starts to make to me.

 

  • Extremely high expectations: Lindsay was a child star that everyone seemed to think would be able to bridge the gap and become a big adult (not XXX… though, that seems ever more likely) star. She was this cute little girl that could sing and act; straight out of the Disney mold. Millions of fans and critics alike seemed to think that Lohan would some day become a major Hollywood actress. But let’s not forget how most teen stars turn out: train wrecks.

    Like Lohan, Liverpool’s board and fans have lofty expectations for the club each season. Talk to any true Scouser before each season, and they are fully convinced that “this is the year” they’ll challenge for silverware on all fronts. “We’re going to win the league this year!” or “I could easily see us winning two trophies this year.” The Koppites truly believe those statements, despite the fact that they’ll also say, “Who cares if Rafa sold Alonso!? He won us a the European CuP! I trust him, even though he sold one of our best players and replaced him with a guy who hasn’t played in six months.”

  • Gives you reason to believe, as long as you ignore the cracks in the foundation: Lohan had some initial successes in her grown-up acting career, which seemed to build up her expectations even more. Movies like Freaky Friday, Mean Girls (where Lindsay was at her absolute hottest… I’ll admit it, Lindsay was my “unicorn” for quite a while), and Herbie: Fully Loaded were all box office successes earning in excess of $100 million. And though none of them were critically praised films, directors and fellow actors said she was a very talented actress with a bright future. But the early warning signs of Lohan’s future troubles began to appear bubble to the surface. While shooting Georgia Rule, she was twice hospitalized for “exhaustion.” We later came to find out that her exhaustion was caused by constant late night partying, and that the studio thought she was unprofessional and irresponsible. However bad her off-set life was, she was still garnering praise from coworkers for her abilities. And she was still able to find work despite persistent rumors of her hard partying and poor work ethic.

    Likewise, Liverpool have a similar problem: they lead their fans on just enough to give them fuel for their high expectations. They’ve got top notch players in their roster (Gerrard, Torres, Mascherano, Reina, etc.) that should make them competitive ever year. They consistently reach the later stages of the Champions League. The reds, led by “tactical genius” Rafa Benitez, even won the 2005 Champions League title. But even in their that magical campaign, there were were warning signs. In the final, the team looked particularly poor against AC Milan, aside from the 11 minute span that saw them score three goals to send the game into extra time. Rafa’s men finished outside of the Champions League qualification spots in the league that season too, necessitating UEFA to make up a new rule so that they would be allowed to defend their title.

    Then last year, they stood at the top of the premier league table before narrowly falling short in the last few weeks. Being forced to sell off starters in order to buy “better quality” players (Alonso was last year’s fallen star, while in year’s past it’s been Peter Crouch or Michael Owen). In reality they should sell off second string players, then move the current starters to the bench when “better quality” players arrive. But a lot of that has to do with the poor amount of investment in the club by the American ownership group.

  • The color red: Well, this one is obvious, right? But just because it’s obvious doesn’t mean it’s not relevant. Lindsay Lohan is a ginger kid. Liverpool wear the color read. Just because it’s simple doesn’t me it doesn’t add to the argument.
  • Now spiraling out of control: Ever since Lindsay’s initial pitfalls on the set of Georgia Rule, her life has been a swirling tornado of disaster. She’s been in and out of jail more often than you’re average drug dealer. The same goes for rehab. There have been two reported DUI’s, one of which she’s still trying to complete her sentencing for. Though adamantly denying she has a drug problem, she’s been caught on film doing blow. She’s been caught stealing thousands of dollars worth of merchandise from a store. It’s likely she’s had an on again, off again, eating disorder. She has been stalking her ex-girlfriend, and probably some ex-boyfriends  that we’re unaware of, too. The list goes on and on and on.For Liverpool, they’ve been a similarly turbulent downward spiral. An extremely rough and tumble start to the season (losses to my Spurs and Aston Villa) left them as a long-shot for title favorites, something that continued poor league results (losses to Portsmouth and Arsenal, draw with Stoke) have all but assured. They’ve been knocked out at the Champions League at the group stage. They’re already out of the Carling Cup, having been taken down by Arsenal. Liverpool then completed their “treble of suck” (copyright WSOTP, 2010) by being knocked out of the FA Cup by Championship strugglers Reading.

    fernando torres won’t want to play for “team lohan” forever.

    Off the field, the problems are mounting too. The Kop faithful has never been pleased with the American ownership group lead by Tom Hicks and George Gillette. They’ve never given Benitez much money to work with in the transfer market, and there are growing concerns that they’ve saddled the club with too much debt. The American owners may have also torpedoed the chances of Liverpool building a new stadium. And [now former] club board members are now telling fans “Blow me, fuck face.” I’m guessing that fosters nothing but happiness among the fans.

    Adding insult to injury is the reds’ growing injury sheet. It would be one thing if the injuries were happening to Philip Degen or the maligned Ryan Babel, people who don’t really make the daily team sheet. No, it’s happening to stars like Torres, Glen Johnson, Gerrard and Yossi Benayoun. It’s no wonder that many are questioning whether this team can even qualify for next year’s Champions League.

The similarities are striking, aren’t they? Looking at the facts, it’s no wonder that so many Liverpool fans and are calling for Rafa’s head. Would you want you’re team to be the Lindsay Lohan of football? I certainly wouldn’t.