ten words or less #72

What a week it was for football.

it was such a scintillating week of soccer that it literally caused the crew’s scoreboard to burst into flames.

Spain, long the kings of European club and international soccer, was humbled over the course of two nights in Germany. The shock waves of the thorough beatings received by Barcelona and Real Madrid are still reverberating a week later as we head into the return ties in Spain. Meanwhile, the Premier League saw not only a champion named, but also two sides doomed to relegation. The race for the top four in England also remains interesting, with Spurs and Arsenal seemingly trying to trip out of each others’ way nail down the last slot. The Columbus Crew’s scoreboard caught on fire shortly before its team did in a 3 goal victory over DC United for the Black and Gold. And the biggest news? scored a hat trick in my coed indoor match midweek. Earth-shattering stuff, right?

So with all of the madness that went down last week, it would have been easy to miss an interesting story or two along the way. As we edge our way towards yet another week guaranteed to be full of even more twists and turns, have a read through some of the best content I gleaned from the web over the last week that might have gone under the radar.

An infographic explaining the NASL’s new Indy Eleven‘s name. – indyeleven.com

One small step for Pittsburgh, one giant leap for USSoccer. – theshinguardian.com

Meanwhile in Sweden, they’re paving over pitches. – whoateallthepies.tv

So Blackburn should be in the Champions League final, right? - espnfc.com

My future child will have a ball in its crib. – si.com

Honestly, I’d have a hard time fairly judging a Gooner. – guardian.co.uk

Nike have something crazy in store for us. – soccerbible.com

Bravo, Dirty Tackle: a marvelous bit on the Suárez bite. – dirtytackle.net

College athletics losing it’s luster… and not just in soccer. – sbnation.com

Though he’s bat shit crazy these days, nothing but respect. – youtube.com

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pic of the week 4/8-4/14

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Newcastle Horse Puncher

In a weekend where fan hooliganism made headlines on both sides of the pond, this week’s not-exactly-HD  ”Pic of the Week” comes to us from the aftermath of the Tyne-Wear Derby in Newcastle. Northeastern rivals Sunderland traveled to Newcastle to face the Magpies at St. James Park, and came out of the match surprise 3-0 winners. Unsurprisingly, this didn’t sit well with home support, who then spilled into the street surrounding the stadium and threw a temper tantrum of epic proportions.

The highlight of the scenery captured though has to be footage of the man above, who thought it best to not only provoke the policemen attempting to keep the peace… but also punch one of their horses in the face. Caught on camera several times before obscuring his face with his scarf, the lug wasn’t exactly able to land a solid blow to the equestrian guardian before gesturing “Come at me, bro” several times and then being tackled by the police. However, that likely won’t stop him from having picketers from PETA marching outside his house, or avoid a date with the Newcastle magistrate sometime in the next fortnight.

And for those animal-friendly readers concerned about the horse? Don’t worry, “Bud” as he’s called, has recovered well and will live to face drunken Geordies another day.

pic of the week 3/11-3/17

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Wigan's Callum McManaman tackles Newcastle's Massadio Haïdara

If you wanted to see an example of everything that’s wrong with the modern bureaucracy that dominates English football, take today’s ruling on the above “pic of the week”. It depicts an absolute nightmare of a challenge by Wigan’s Callum McManaman on Newcastle’s Massadio Haïdara midway through the first half of their match up on Saturday, which somehow produced zero cards. The tackle, seen here in its full glory, was described as “clean as a whistle” by the completely unbiased Lattics chairman Dave Whelan.

So why does this one image capture all that is wrong with the FA? Today, the FA announced that no retrospective punishment will be handed out to McManaman. Their official statement: “Where one of the officials has seen a coming together of players, no retrospective action should be taken, regardless of whether he or she witnessed the full or particular nature of the challenge. This is to avoid the re-refereeing of incidents.” 

Huh… it’s like the FA are admitting their referees are blind idiots, since this is most definitely a red card offense. And if that’s the case, so are they.

the end of an era for the premier league?

This is a short excerpt from my first featured post for KYCK, a brand new soccer-centric social media platform that discovers, curates, and delivers personalized and highly relevant soccer content based on your view of the game. To read it in it’s entirety, please click here or click the link at the end of the post.

Manchester City on the verge

could we be on the edge of a new sky blue-tinted era in england’s top flight?

Most things in life are cyclical in nature, where periods of normalcy are interrupted by periods of change. Some periods might be longer or even permanent, while others are short and fleeting. The rise and fall of the stock market, the warming and cooling of the earth, and even Real Madrid’s or Barcelona’s dominance of La Liga are all prime examples of the eras within these cycles that we see come and go. Each has a beginning, and each has its end.

When thinking about the 2011/2012 Premier League Season, it’s easy to wonder if we might be at the beginning of a new era in the English top flight. Looking at the league table with just a week’s worth of fixtures left to play, that could very well be the case.

Manchester City’s lavish spending over the last few years appears on the verge of finally coming good, as they’re in pole position to supplant their neighbors as champions for their first league title since 1968. Manchester United — the most dominant side in the Premier League era — are likely to fall just short thanks to their own transitional period at the club.  Supposing the Citizens secure three points at QPR this weekend, they’ll be the first side outside the traditional “Big Four” clubs to win the title since Blackburn Rovers also bought their way to the title in 1994.

Continue reading “The end of an era for the Premier League?” on KYCK. →

ten words or less #50

real madrid's cristiano ronaldo showing off his leg

there's been no word yet on whether cristiano will have to cover up his oily thighs when visiting madrid's new island resort in the UAE.

We’ve finally made it to the half century mark for my TWOL series. And to be honest, I’m not entirely sure if I should be celebrating that milestone, seeing as how the series exists simply because I’m a blogger who is too lazy to write his own original content all the time.

Admittedly, I’ve been a bit stretched lately due to an increased workload in my real world job, and moonlighting as a guest blogger on some other sites. But that’s no reason to ignore this space, so my deepest apologies if you’re feeling neglected. I do have some pretty interesting original content in the pipeline for you… though the ten links below will have to suffice as I continue to fine tune the new posts for the limelight.

See WSOTP (#11) on The Football Attic’s “League of Blogs”. – thefootballattic.com

Liverpool has Pinterest: not shocking considering how soft they’ve played. – pinterest.com

We need this in the U.S. far more than the UK. - soccerlens.com

Have you ever wanted to control Arsene’s Swedish dance moves? - fuldans.se

Why MLS should avoid foreigners with a long wrap sheet. – soccerbyives.com

Real builds $1b resort, removes logo’s cross to appease locals. – dirtytackle.net

Your side can’t score? Remind them where the goal is. – 101greatgoals.com

For nerds only: Kit Supplier statistics from around Europe. –  sportundmarkt.com
(warning: PDF download link)

Ronaldo vs Nadal: part of me wishes this was real. - youtube.com/NikeFootball

Pardew likens Ben Arfa to Messi… a.k.a “a stretch”. – bbc.co.uk

ten words or less #40

a.c. milan's antonio cassano

i left a get well card for cassano at the italian embassy. i sure hope he gets it.

I spent a majority of last week in the Nation’s Capital for my real world job’s annual company meeting, and to be honest, I’m completely worn out from it still. While capping off the event by partying into the wee hours of the night at the gorgeous Italian Embassy was a blast, I have to admit that I was a bit disappointed that there wasn’t a small practice pitch on the facility grounds. Though considering the trouble that Serie A clubs have just trying to find the funds to build the desperately needed new grounds back home, perhaps it was a bit foolish of me to expect anything different in their small enclave in D.C.

Luckily, I found these links below to be of sufficient quality to fill my footy void.

Your owner cares only when you vote with your wallet. – twistedblood.co.uk

MLS latest attendance figures = Progress! – examiner.com

Bromley’s QR code haircuts: as stupid as they sound. – kickette.com

There’s no reading in football. – dirtytackle.net

My thoughts on Manchester United’s leaked 2012-2013 kits: Gag. – footballshirtculture.com
(the equally gagging away kit is here)

Qatar 2022: now featuring 100% less promised air conditioning. – soccernet.com

Retro-ish 20th anniversary Umbro Speciali’s? Yes please. – kckrs.com

This is why there are no African David Silva’s. – inbedwithmaradona.com

panic attack

I’m not having a panic attack. I swear… I think. Maybe I am having one. Well, wait… no I’m probably not having a panic attack.

luka modric during tottenham preseason training in south africa

apparently the saga over this man's signature has distracted levy and redknapp from getting any transfer work done this summer.

But with just a few days remaining until the Spurs’ delayed official start to the Premier League’s 2011-2012 season, Tottenham chairman Daniel Levy is officially making me lose sleep.

I know that last season was a bit of a mixed bag for Spurs and their fans. We were all enthralled by our magical European adventure, but also all rightly disappointed that the team couldn’t consistently put in the type of domestic performances that were earning them worthy praise on the continent.

As this post clearly points out, Tottenham were a team that could hang with the big boys. But on the flip side of the coin, they were decidedly average against team’s they should have been beating. The rigors of the Premier League, regardless of the competition faced each weekend, were too much to heap on players who were already being asked to carry heavy Champions League loads.

One thing that is certain is that the lack of activity in the January transfer window played a decently-sized part in the club’s eventual shortcomings.

The squad clearly needed reinforcements (in particular at the front end of the pitch) to continue battling on multiple fronts, and yet the only area they reinforced was the one area of the pitch that didn’t need that much help (although, a midfielder like Pienaar was a deal at the price we landed him for). Long story short, thin as the squad was, it couldn’t cope with a multi-competition battle.

So when Tottenham relinquished their short hold on a top four position back in the spring, both Levy and Redknapp admitted that big signings would be necessary to get the club back on track with their grand aspirations.

tottenham's brad friedel and michael dawson

friedel should help lift tottenham's defensive acumen, but he's not the impact signing that we had all hoped for.

Initially, long-term “dream” targets came back to the forefront. Forlán, Falcao, and Rossi were all floated in the deep pool of summer transfer rumors. But for various reasons (too old, too expensive, and too not for sale) none were realistic solutions to the Spurs’ striking woes. It appeared that Tottenham would either have to pony up and spend like the club has a super-rich foreign owner, or unearth a diamond in the rough.

Fellow Ohioan Brad Friedel was the first signing of the window, and though he was also a bargain-buy that addressed a weak spot in the team, his arrival was hardly the “big time” signing that we all wanted and the team needed.

But I remained optimistic; perhaps Friedel’s signing was the beginning of a torrid of transfer activity at White Hart Lane. After all, we don’t just need to buy at Tottenham: we also need to trim. With one of the largest squads in the Premier League last season, Levy remained (rightly) insistent that arrivals at the club would necessitate cash from sales.

Yet Friedel, to this point, remains the only transfer dealing of this extremely crucial off-season. One free signing, and only two paltry sums coming in after the Lillywhites finally disposed of serial-loanees Jamie O’Hara (to Wolves for £3.5m) and Robbie Keane (to LA Galaxy for £3m)… nothing official about Jenas, Hutton, Dos Santos, Bassong and Palacios being sold off to raise the all important cash.

So while Tottenham Hotspur seem to be twiddling their thumbs, all of their direct competitors have been busy strengthening their squads.

kun aguero at manchester city

though they bid for him in january, spurs never had a realistic shot of landing kun.

Manchester City, the club that’s recently been Tottenham’s biggest rival (as far as league places are concerned) over the last few years, have continued to spend astronomical sums on players they may (Stefan Savić) or may not (Clichy) need (Agüero could be unneeded if Tévez doesn’t leave). Sadly, additional devastating signings this window seem imminent. If they’re not competing for silverware on all fronts this season with the talent in that squad, then Mancini will have proven himself a moron of a manager.

Liverpool, the club that Tottenham displaced in the Champions League last season, look to have finally gotten back on track with new owner John Henry and new (and old) manager Kenny Dalglish aiming to return to their rightful place as an English power. The signings of Stewart Downing, Jordan Henderson, and José Enrique on top of the January signings of Suarez and Carroll, mean that the Reds have dropped a reported £94 million on getting themselves back in the top four.

Manchester United, the club that doesn’t ever have a down year, also look primed to continue their run of dominance over English football after finally dolling out a big chunk of the Ronaldo-sale money. Ashley Young, David de Gea and Phil Jones have arrived on the back of £50 million, plus there is emergence of Tom Cleverly and the possible arrival of Wesley Sneijder from Inter to further bolster their ranks. When Sir Alex said Tottenham could compete for the title this season, he must have forgotten that his team were competing in England this season.

Then there’s Chelsea, the club that’s played the part of Luka Modrić-stalker all summer long. To be honest, they’ve not spent much on players so far this summer (Lukaku and Romelu)… most of their outbound cash was to pry away Mourinho-lite Andre Villas-Boas from Porto as their new temporary manager. Their lack of player spending has definitely been surprising, as the club’s senior citizen squad looked in the most need of reinforcements. However, I fret that they might not quite be finished for understandable reasons.

And then there’s our North London rivals, Arsenal, the club that… well, thank god at least one of our rivals is looking to be in worse shape than us. Serves them right, that scum.

I sit and watch world-class players arriving at those clubs, and I think to myself: “Those are the types of players we need.” But then I remember, the reality of it is, we can’t afford those players.

Stuck in an undersized stadium that’s unable to generate the necessary revenues to truly invest in a squad, Harry and Daniel have openly admitted that we can’t compete with the big boys when it comes to wages and transfer funds. So, now we’re having to make do with less ambitious targets.

fc twente's bryan ruiz

ruiz would be an ideal, (relatively) cheap signing for tottenham. but is there enough time to pull it off?

Blackburn sweeper/striker Chris Samba‘s name keeps coming up, though improving the back four isn’t and shouldn’t be near the top of the club’s priority list. There have been links to another central midfielder in Real Madrid’s Lassana Diarra, which would make some sense if Palacios leaves. I’d love to see Twente’s Costa Rican striker/shampoo-commercial model Bryan Ruiz get bought, but with so little time left in the window, a deal like that would be tough. Maybe a loan move for everyone’s favorite mercenary, Emmanuel Adebayor, seems the most likely, but do we really want a player that nobody else wants?

And that’s not even touching on the possibility of Modrić leaving and how that could blow everything to hell. Levy seems to have the kid in a vice grip at the moment, but who knows what Chelsea’s millions could persuade the chairmen to do.

Look, my club’s biggest adversaries have spent over a combined £185 million pounds to solidify and/or improve their places in the league. Tottenham have spent zero. Everyone knew that Spurs needed to improve if they wanted to achieve their dream of becoming one of the big boys, and yet the club has done practically nothing to this point to show any of that necessary transfer ambition.

Sure, Harry Houdini could have another late-breaking, wheeling-and-dealing transfer that he’ll pull out of his sleeve like he did with van der Vaart. Maybe he’ll deliver the striker we so desperately need at 11:59pm on August 30th. But if he’ goes that long without a signing, I’d be more willing to bet that it will be another midfielder than a striker… ‘Arry seems to love those center of the park ballers.

And if that’s the case, someone call me a doctor… I’m going to need a prescription for Xanax that will last much longer than just through the remainder of this transfer window.

ten words or less #19

Michael Laudrup, King of the Sexy Pass.

masters of the sexy pass: if xavi is the new guardiola, then guardiola was the new laudrup.

i hate mondays. if you’re anything like me, it’s so hard to focus on one’s responsibilities as we struggle to recover from a weekend full of debauchery (a.k.a. a hangover), laziness (which requires me to turn my brain back on), and/or f.a. cup events (which, due to spurs’ early exit, has me less than invested). to help ease you back into the work week, below are some good links to use as you slack when you’re not quite productive enough.

if i designed my sunday league kits, they’d be this. – footballshirtculture.com

the forgotten barça starlet: bojan krkic. – therunofplay.com

this is brilliantly simple plan. – totalsoccershow.com

high fashion. – beautifulgear.com

soccer porn (that’s safe for work). – theguardian.co.uk

if he chooses terek gronzy over spurs, i will hate. – theoffside.com

probably won’t inspire confidence prior to a national title defense. – thecrew.com

fc borne bid for messi, bend everyone out of shape. – guardian.co.uk

ten words or less #18

now that ireland is at another new club, it was about time for him to bash his previous employers.

With the visual overhaul of the blog still ongoing, not to mention the need to continue to write for it too, I realized this morning that I reallly need to post this TWOL before the majority of these stories become outdated. If you happened to have read any of the following links already, just be sure to remember that you are not required to read them again.

A short history about baaallllllllllllsssss. – soccernet.com

Life lesson: don’t release owls during a match. – thespoiler.co.uk

I’ve never been, and never will be, this good. – youtube.com

Does anyone feel the excitement?!?!?! – soccerbyives.com

Great… a sound argument defending Allardyce-style tactics. – si.com

This is believable. – bbc.co.uk

The crazy free kick bar has been raised. – caughtoffside.com

Stephen Ireland wants to piss off everyone. – football365.com

transfer madness

the biggest move of the window involves a soulless traitor and a russian billionaire. i'll let you figure it out from there.

let’s begin this by saying that i will not be making this post an up-to-the-minute, one-stop-shop, complete directory for all of the transfers and rumors that will be spilling out of the media outlets today. this is still a one man show, and i certainly don’t have the patience or the fortitude to undertake that kind of endeavor. we’ll leave that to the big boys. oh yeah, and i’m at work (please don’t tell my boss, ok?!).

but, i figured you might find it entertaining to read my thoughts, and those of some friends, as the news comes across the wire.

  • 6:26pm EST: jozy altidore on the move again (about as shocking as dos santos), this time loaned to levante. maybe this time he’ll get a chance, or not squander one.
  • 5:50pm EST: seeing that giovanni dos santos has been loaned out again by spurs; just another january for the youngster. also, harry has had a second bid for everton’s phil neville rejected and i’m just fine with that from a personal standpoint.
  • 4:14pm EST: laregly dead in the transfer market over the last year, chelsea have certainly sprung to life today! maybe abromovic is feeling fiscally  inadequate after being shown up in the last few transfer windows by man city!  despite already forking out £45+ million for torres, they have also somehow resurrected their move for benfica’s highly rated david luiz. though the £25 million-rated luiz is likely to be used as a centerback, he is more than capable of playing on the left as well. perhaps this is foreshadowing ashley cole’s departure to real madrid in the summer?
  • 3:52pm EST: again, i find myself rooting for bolton. blah. anyway, i’m actually pulling for the wanderers to nab chelsea’s daniel sturridge on loan. the young striker has huuuuge upside, and i think he’d flourish in bolton’s quasi-free flowing attack under owen coy’s tutelage.
  • 3:29pm EST: remember the nigerian midget that scored all of those goals for newcastle a few years ago? he’s coming back to england, as birmingham have opted against a pricy robbie kean and have instead picked up obafemi martins on a 6 month loan from rubin kazan. my guess is the nigerian is really looking forward to england’s comparably “tropical climate” after spending the last year and a half in russia.
  • 3:08pm EST: just noticed that stoke have sold tuncay to wolfsburg. 1) i thought that guy was like 40 years old, and feel dumb realizing he’s only 29. 2) i didn’t realize anyone was still interested in signing players that everyone thinks are 40… oh wait, it’s steve mcclaren. now i get it.
  • 2:15pm EST: another USMNT member’s move to england has been been finalized, with former real salt lake striker robbie findley finally receiving his work permit to join nottingham forest. i actually really like this move for findley, as the championship contenders are on the rise and will provide him with a great environment to test himself as the club push for promotion to the promised land.
  • 2:02pm EST: allow me to clarify my statement about hating torres. he’s played nearly this whole season completely indifferent, after the kop stood behind him when he obviously fake-pledged his commitment to the club after the world cup. then he puts in a transfer request 3 days before the end of the window. if it weren’t for the fact that liverpool will never get more for him now than they ever would again, i’d say let him rot in the reserves before selling him the summer. i like the guy before all of this, and honestly felt bad for him while he suffered through liverpool’s downward spiral. now i hope he blows his groin up again on his debut at stamford bridge.
  • 2:01pm EST: shit has hit the fan, as liverpool have accepted a bid from chelsea for torres. i now hate him.
  • 12:35pm EST: my buddy milky just skyped me from china, basically trumpeting that liverpool are on their way back to being title challengers thanks to the carroll signing. as he put it, “we’ve got the meanest strike partnership in england now: suarez bites people, and carroll beats women. with king kenny leading the way, we’ll be unstoppable!”
  • 12:31pm EST: well, the andy carroll saga has come to an end, and sadly (i think!?) it’s not going to end in north london. newcastle’s shrewd business mentality has won them an extra £5 million from liverpool, who must be looking for a replacement for a “possibly” departing striker.
  • 9:38am EST: michael bradley is definitely heading to england, and not turkey. after apparently almost boarding a plane to sign with galatasary, it appears that son of i-robot will be plying his trade with darren bent at aston villa. with fellow yanks friedel and lichaj in the ranks, hopefully he’ll adjust to life quickly. whether or not he can find a spot in the squad, i have my concerns.
  • 9:19am EST: charlie adam would be a great signing for liverpool, as it would finally give them someone to replace xabi alonso with. whether or not the red’s fork out enough to convince holloway to let his most vital cog go, that’s another question all together. two bids already rejected make me think no.
  • 9:13am EST: tottenham have been linked with every striker in europe today, at least that’s what it feels like. in order, here’s how i rank all of the prospects, in order. take this all with a grain of salt though: i’m definitely expecting the same three strikers to be at the club tomorrow that are here today.
    • luis fabiano: speed, strength, and creative. dynamic finisher. i want him most of all of them.
    • diego forlán: my second choice by a narrow margin, but behind fabiano due to his old age (31) and poor strike rate while at manchester united a few years back. however, his goal tallies at the world cup and in spain the last few years make him an ideal spot.
    • fernando llorente: strength and size, with the ability to play some tiki taka. would be ideal for bale crosses, but would require lennon to learn how to do that. too bad athletic bilbao won’t sell until the summer, when madrid will likely snatch him up.
    • andy carroll: a sllightly more brute and less skilled version of llorente, but with premier league experience. i’m also concerned he could be a flash in the pan.
    • giuseppe rossi: a younger, more creative defoe. though i don’t think he gives us another dimension.
    • sergio agüero: i think he’s overrated, and his height is concerning. i feel like he doesn’t bring enough to the table for a team that likes to play down the flanks. plus he signed a new contract with atlético today.
  • 8:51am EST: in my opinion, newcastle are playing an interesting game with andy carroll. they saw how much dzeko went for (£32 million at age of 24), and they saw how much bent went for (£22 million at age of 26), so the precedent has already been set for strikers this window. carroll is 22, a physical freak, and has some experience plundering goals in the premier league… so his upside is pretty big. now, are any of these players really worth this much money… no. but i think the geordies are being fairly shrewd businessmen. whether or not he goes to liverpool is another issue altogether.