ten words or less #53

President Obama and that LA Galaxy

president obama received his official galaxy shirt from landon donovan and a spanish conquistador david beckham.

Now that league champions have been crowned, and European places are (almost) finalized, everyone’s attention has briefly  transitioned from on-field matters to off. Transfer speculation is in full swing, managers have been hired and fired, and agents are busy trying to count their chickens before they’ve hatched, Even the American President has gotten in on the action.

And like every other seasons’ end, I’m struggling to finalize post drafts that I’ve been working on for weeks/months. Some will be trashed, while others might yet see the light of day. So as I busy myself with making such important decisions, here are ten of my favorite  links from the last week to satisfy your quench for footie-related goodness.

Maradona suing Italy for trying to collect his back taxes. – kckrs.com

In case you’ve not seen it, here’s The Two Escobars. – youtube.com

A minimalist’s history of the World Cup. - andrefidusi.com

City might be making another Džeko if they sign Llorente. – inbedwithmaradona.com

Fake country Sealand play their first “international” match. – bbc.co.uk

Spurs’ new Under Armour kits are… surprisingly acceptable.
- reddit.com/user/IamHereForYou

How the players reacted when Hodgson was named England manager.
- theoffside.com

What it takes to put on a live MLS broadcast. – philly.com

United’s signing of Bébé always smelled fishy. – theoriginalwinger.com

Canada and Umbro team up for centenary kit sexiness. – blog.umbro.com

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ten words or less #52

Bolton's Fabrice Muamba

it’s alright fabrice, some dust blew into my eyes just prior kickoff too.

With the European season winding down, high drama is in overtime with all of the various plot lines around the world of football starting to reach their conclusions. The title race, the war for the Champions League places and the relegation scrap are all reaching fever pitch entering the last two weeks of the season in the Premier League. Montpellier, just a few matches away from claiming their first ever Ligue 1 title, spectacularly lost their cool and will now be without captain Younes Belhanda for the rest of campaign through suspension. Real Madrid even bagged their first La Liga title in four years, prompting celebrations in the Spanish capital that thousands of toddlers around Spain had never seen before.

That’s not even including all of the transfer speculation heating up… lucky you, I’m not going to even broach that subject today. Instead, I provide you these ten links in less than 100 words to get your weekend off to a roaring start.

Muamba’s return to the Reebok… tugs at the heart-strings. – news.sky.com

A clever bit of “Barça Iconography”: their own Holy Trinity. – twitter/#/Paul_Morrissey

Why I live on the wrong side of the pond. – deadspin.com

Ironically, a great thread arguing how American soccer actually is.
- reddit.com/user/botron

Someone lock this man in a hotel room, too. – kickette.com

Like the soap opera Dreamteam, except it’s a real team. – dirtytackle.net

Guess which of these gimmicky products I formerly owned. – theclassical.org

The Rust Belt Derby… a non-manufactured, organic rivalry. – soccernews.com

Why Woy is the wight man fow the job. – zonalmarking.net

If WSOTP had an office, this would hang there. – kckrs.com

ten words or less #44

barcelona's lionel messi wins the 2011 fifa ballon d'or

george castanza approves of messi's velvet suit.

Now that I’m sort-of fully settled into 2012 — I am admittedly still having trouble accidentally writing 2011 on everything, an annual challenge for sure — it’s time to ring in some minor changes around the blog. The largest of the changes is a new, fancy “Featured Posts” section, which highlights some of my bloggings that fall outside the realm of the standard essays on current events in and around the game. This new page is part of an overall effort I’ve undertaken to help improve site navigation and search… something nobody was complaining about yet I still felt the need to address.

OCD and ADD: it’s a powerful combination. Enjoy some links, now in doses of 10:

A forgotten hero fades into the dark. – nj.com

If there wasn’t football: Hodgson, Rooney, Mick, Gerrard, Rio, Beckham. - theoriginalwinger.com

Unique re-thinks of national team logos, by Pelé Sports. – creativeroots.org

The decision that saved MLS in 2002: contraction. – mlssoccer.com

Lesson learned? I still shouldn’t play in face paint. – inbedwithmaradona.com

The first foosball table I’ve wanted in 20 years. – 11thegame.com

This guy is buying everyone’s drinks this weekend. – timesofindia.com

Challenge for my buddy currently vacationing in Bogotá: find this. – domusweb.it

Like the Super Bowl Shuffle, but 100 times worse. – youtube.com

The question remains, how is Eto’o's coverage compared to Verizon? – kckrs.com

kind words for the king

when the king of the kop rode back into liverpool on what i’m guessing was a red stallion, he was literally hailed as the knight in shining armor here to save the day of the liverpool faithful. he was the only man who could save the club from its impending doom. it all felt like i was watching a sunday showing of the matrix on FX, with everyone obsessing over “the one.”

kenny's success at anfield could be due to a higher power, or perhaps some sort of witchcraft.

despite all of the hype that surrounded kenny dalglish’s return to anfield to take the role of “caretaker manager,” at the time i just didn’t see what all the fuss was about. i openly questioned the impact this new manager could possibly have at the helm.

the liverpool ship was sinking fast, and not even talented managers such as the fat spanish waiter or the hodge could prevent the ship from taking on more water. their two star players (torres and gerrard) looked so lethargic and uninterested that it’s widely been suspected that lucas leiva — LUCAS! — has been the side’s best player over the last 12 months.

also consider that dalglish hadn’t managed a premier league side since 1998, and his last coaching gig was back in 2000 when he was the caretaker at celtic. his last job in england was with newcastle, and his 18 months in charge of the magpies resulted in a winning percentage of just 38%. since these aren’t exactly statistics that scream “excellent managerial choice” to me, you could understand my suspicion of this king kenny.

of course, you do have to throw in that i’m not exactly old enough to remember any of the impact that kenny has ever had at liverpool. when i first started following english football, i hardly knew who sir alex ferguson was let alone who the manager was at blackburn. even by the mid noughties i knew that he was a legendary player and manager for the reds, but little else beyond that. it would also be fair to say that i was unaware that he is a demigod, or that he can part the english channel with his mind.

and when things started slowly for the scot in his second stint in charge at anfield, i felt justified in my thoughts. see, not even the supposed savior can turn this thing around on mereyside. and when the club (dalglish maybe?) inexplicably decided it was time to sell off their best striker, i assumed that the club was about to implode.

how things can change so quickly.

with 13 points out of a possible 15 in his last five games, it’s safe to say that liverpool do appear to have a chosen one. when owner  john w. henry is heaping praise, you know it, you feel it… the tide seems to have turned.

i don’t know what it is about the guy, but dalglish has completely galvanized the side. in the win against chelsea, lucas pulled the strings as meireles — not gerrard — made dangerous, darting runs into the box. even though gerrard wasn’t at his best on sunday, he’s definitely looked more at ease under kenny’s rule than he did roy’s. the defense looks much more organized and cohesive, not to mention crunching (agger’s crushing f***-you-and-good-riddance tackle on torres in the opening minutes of the game being my favorite). for the first time all season, this club is on a streak of positive results and are playing as a unit.

dalglish has even made hipsters cool.

none of these things were happening under hodgson.

just imagine what a fully fit suarez and carroll could bring to this newly energized team! i mean, kenny had to have been comfortable with the idea of letting torres go and getting those two in return. i don’t care how much moneyball the new ownership were playing in the transfer market, you’re going to have a hard time telling me that andy carroll wasn’t a dalglish pick… he reaks of the scot’s choice. brute power waiting to be honed and tamed; just as dalglish has done with the club’s talent as a whole.

and suarez will likely be zooming around like a reckless michael owen, poaching goals and biting opposing players. while the uruguayan’s stats support the ownership’s moneyball theory of purchasing players, his attitude and work ethic also ooze of classic liverpool and dalglish’s influence.

so, mr. dalglish, i apologize for doubting you. i don’t know how you have done it, but somehow you have. maybe you do have some magical plan after all. it’s been a thrill to watch, and i’m looking forward to seeing how it pans out.

just don’t go climbing your boys any higher than spurs, ok?

the right man for the job

Landing a management position in big-time, professional football has to be such a bipolar experience.

before we hang hodgson up on the cross, consider that it might not be all of his fault.

On one hand, I would have to imagine you would probably be ecstatic to have landed a high profile job. The prestige, the perks, the chance to compete with and against the best of the best, knowing that you’ve reached the pinnacle of your profession… all of the things that make you want to go out and celebrate over a few pints.

On the other hand, landing a high profile manager’s position must also be incredibly nerve wracking. The pressure, the weight of expectations of the directors/players/fans, knowing that you have a gun pointed at the back of your head from the minute you sign your contract… all of the things that make you want to go and drown your sorrows in a pint or ten.

For most, the latter is often enough for us to rule ourselves out of contention for such a line of work… as if any of us are really that qualified. Of course, that doesn’t keep any of us fans, pundits and so called experts from crucifying those who do have that ambition and turning up our noses from our lofty positions as armchair managers.

However, there is a small subset of the general populace that not only enjoys the great parts about becoming a manager, but also thrives on the negatives that scare the rest of us off. Without that pressure, the job wouldn’t even be fun for them. Unfortunately, most of the current men employed in these top positions the world over aren’t in this category. many of them are impostors, feigning fearlessness to land their “dream job,” only to quickly find themselves in over their heads.

carlo deserves a cigarette... even top managers struggle from time to time.

For every José Mourinho — ever cool as a cucumber despite taking on the most demanding jobs on the planet — there are ten Phil Browns, liable to bite your arm off because they’ve gone mad from the grind. And thus we have part of our explanation for the continuous carousel of management hirings and firings that are common place in the sport… each club desperately searching for their own Sir Alex, del Bosque or Bruce Arena (kidding).

What can even be more frustrating though is even if you land one of those special managers, he just might not be the right fit. Whether it be he doesn’t mesh well with the players, doesn’t get along with the director. Think of Juande Ramos at Tottenham, Manuel Pellegrini at Real Madrid or Rafa Benítez at Inter Milan… sometimes it just doesn’t click.

Then again, some of the above may have been the impostors I mentioned previously. Some of them may have finally succumbed to the pressure cooker and gone bananas (the Fat Spanish Waiter in particular). Maybe some were better cut out for serving mid-table sides, as was the case with Ramos and Pellegrini (Ramos with Sevilla, especially). It’s almost always a shot in the dark; a hope and a prayer.

So as we all patiently wait for the January axes to fall on the likes of Liverpool’s Roy Hodgson (a mid-table guy), Aston Villa’s Gerard Houllier (he’s French), Avram Grant (an imposter), and — shockingly — Carlo Ancelotti (a top tier manager, though his players are certainly to blame)… remember that it’s not always their fault.

Finding the right man for the job is likely just as easy as finding a needle in a very expensive haystack.

round up #26

what is going on over there?! it’s been completely lunacy in europe the last week, and i’m having trouble processing everything. first hughton was stupidly (though predictably) sacked by the fat idiot running newcastle. then carloz tevez puts in a transfer request because he’s “homesick,” only to have it promptly rejected. and then big sam is cut loose (unexpectedly, yet possibly intelligently) by blackburn’s new indian owners, i presume making him happy that he is finally able to chase his dream of managing real madrid or chelsea… or something like that.

i haven’t even touched on the craziness in the club world cup (the other inter losing) or liverpool slipping back into misery (more on that below).

and since i can’t decide what topic i want to spend a lot of time writing about, i’ll write a little about some other stuff in another round up

lech cup final: lech poznań vs. tottenham hotspur – thespoiler.co.uk
i love me some fans that support their clubs, regardless of the competition. it brings a tear to my eye when i see a quarter full reebok stadium for a 2nd round carling cup match. how dare those bolton fans not support their players like the ultras of polish side lech poznań, who don’t care what competition it is. to remind those fair-weather fans who don’t show enough love for their clubs, watch as hundreds (thousands?) of their supporters sing passionately and wave flags and light flares in this clip from the lech cup final… a u12 tournament.

passion comes in many forms… the most intense of which involve yelling at the top of your lungs at a bunch 11 and 12 year olds .

dedicated followers of fashion – soccernet.com
not that this would be all that surprising if you knew me, but if you did, you would know that i’ve been a sucker for trends nearly my whole life. if not just to look unique or different from the masses, i also often made switches to keep from being harassed by friends for not being like them (my switch from tighty-whities to boxers my freshman year of high school is the result of such ridicule). and that’s what i loved about this article, mostly because it called me out on at least three different footballing trends that i fell victim to during my playing career. i’ll let you guess which ones. honestly though, i’m just really glad that my beloved capri pants somehow missed the cut.

ghana given 72 hour fifa deadline – bbc.co.uk
refusing to do anything about consistently poor refereeing decisions, corrupt committee members, and questionable winning world cup bids have caused the world to raise a collective eyebrow at fifa in recent months. while the english media have been busy ruining their own bid prospects by uncovering bits of said shadiness, it’s also caused some of the world’s governing bodies to question the corruption they see in their own football infrastructure.

this week the government in ghana raided their FA building, taking phones and computers. obviously, those sitting at the head of fifa’s table are not in favor of such bean spilling, giving a thinly veiled warning that they prefer an end to “government intervention” in the GFA’s affairs. 72 isn’t exactly enough time for a government to come to a conclusion as to whether their footballing officials are in someone’s (ahem, fifa’s) back pocket, now is it?

roy hodgson rubs his face – youtube.com
what, two videos in one post? yes, but this one is worth observing.

this concerns me and i’m not even a scouser. if you’re a supporter of the reds and this doesn’t concern you, i’m also concerned about you. this video clearly illustrates why i am concerned, as roy appears to be starting to crumble under the pressure of expectation for his an uninspired side.

fifa president says gays should refrain from homosexuality during qatar world cup – pinknews.co.uk
i’ll admit, i’m not normally patrolling the boards of pinknews for footballing news, so many thanks to technohub88 at reddit for digging this out of the interwebs. like i needed any more reason to be angry at sepp blatter and the decision to award qatar the 2022 world cup, but this is really starting to get ridiculous. who are fifa to tell people how to act outside of the world cup stadiums and in the privacy of their lodging? how smart is it to be awarding a country with such blatant disregard for human rights an event of this magnitude?

round-up #10

it’s so unsurprising, but now that i find myself with more time to write than i can remember, there hasn’t been as much going on to write about for these (somewhat) regular news rounds ups. lucky for you, i’ve scoured the deepest reaches of the interwebs to dig up some interesting tidbits that you might have missed during the hoopla of the last week of world cup qualifying.

this is how every ireland fan felt at the time of henry's handball assist to william gallas

grimsby town fan letter – telegraph.co.uk
i doubt many of you spend much of your time following grimsby town of england’s league 2, so it wouldn’t be surprising if you hadn’t noticed that they currently lie 23rd in the table of 24. their poor form hasn’t gone unnoticed though, as they have left some of their supporters infuriated by a supposed lack of effort that will likely see them relegated out of the football league system back to the county leagues. one exasperated fan by the name of “poojah” was so put off by their play that he wrote an open letter to the team to express his displeasure with them. originally published in the local grimsby telegraph, poojah gives a tongue lashing — err, writing? — that leaves no doubt about how he feels:

Use your imagination, guys – strangle yourselves or cover yourself in tinfoil and take a fork to a nearby plug socket, or something. Just put yourselves and us fans out of our collective misery.

trust me, it’s definitely worth the read, especially if your side has ever had you mad enough that you would like to go on a shooting spree in the club offices.

van persie to use placenta fluid to boost recovery – thesun.co.uk
probably one of the most talked about topics in football right now, but i have to put in my two cents. when arsenal’s dutch striker went down in the holland-italy friendly last weekend, few were surprised to see that he was seriously injured. after all, robin is completely made of glass and is likely the most injury prone player in all of football. what is surprising though is his decision to see a serbian doctor who specializes in the use of placental fluid to help decrease recovery time to serious injuries.

as a former biology major, i can’t tell you that it will for sure help, but it definitely won’t hurt. placental fluid has an extremely high concentration of development hormones and immunological proteins. these could, and i stress could, help van persie’s torn ligaments to heal faster and fight off infection more efficiently. liverpool are claiming the same specialist helped with the recent speedy recoveries of benayoun and reira. but odds are this is just some witchcraft BS that won’t help at all. it does make me wonder though, where is she even getting this stuff from?

al fayed – hodgson is committed – skysports.com
fulham owner mohamed al fayed has been forced to quash rumors of manager roy hodgson’s imminent departure. after steering “fulhamerica” away from relegation in the ’07-’08 season and into europe last season, it’s easy to see why many clubs and national sides might be interested in the english gaffer. speculation of him leaving has increased of late, seeing how he hasn’t entered into discussions with the club over a new long-term contract. my advice to fulham: give the man whatever he wants and do it quick. the fact that he has done so much with the club on a severely limited budget is nothing short of a miracle. and while shooting for another european spot this season might be a stretch with a thin squad, the london club would be foolish to not tie him up quickly.

as henry shows, footballers can’t be trusted – usatoday.com
undoubtedly the biggest controversy in the sport right now is thierry henry’s handball assist that sent ireland packing in their world cup playoff yesterday.  and i have to admit, the handball is such an un-henry-like action that it even caught me by surprise. sure, the french captain admitted to “accidentally” handling the ball in the post-match presser. but article author john leicester’s complaints that henry celebrated gallas’ goal immediately after, instead of running over to the ref and admitting his cheat, are completely ridiculous. honestly, what footballer, no matter how honorable or decorated, is going to do that?!

however, leicester does raise a good point in here too. video replay is not an answer here, as it is too time consuming and will break the flow of the game that makes the sport so appealing. it’s time for fifa and uefa to stop experimenting with the extra goal-line officials and make them a full-time reality, especially during high profile matches and tournaments. if not, we’ll never hear or see the end of it.

youth soccer goalie scores on her own team – youtube.com
in what is fast becoming a news round-up trend, here is this week’s video clip of the week. as an ardent follower and player of the game, it always brings back fond memories of my youth to see little kids playing the beautiful game.

to see this little 5-year-old girl accidentally “bicycle kick” the ball into her own net definitely made me LOL. but then i stopped laughing. why you ask? two reasons:

  1. this clip currently has over 320,000 views, and some of the user comments have been a little harsh on the hapless youngster. it’s just a cute little girl who is trying to learn to play soccer, so let’s go easy on her internet trolls. hopefully this doesn’t cause some undue embarrassment for the girl down the road, let alone spoil her opinion of the game.
  2. some day i’m going to have children. i’ve already accepted that karma will repay me with nothing but daughters. and knowing my genetics, i’ll probably be one of those dads that tries to live vicariously through his children. so it’s entirely possible that my daughter(s) will either a) do something like this and i’ll giggle, or b) and most likely, it will be an ominous sign that my daughter(s) will be terrible at the sport i love. frump.

but it’s still funny… and i hope you enjoyed.