Tag Archives: world cup

ten words or less #53

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President Obama and that LA Galaxy

president obama received his official galaxy shirt from landon donovan and a spanish conquistador david beckham.

Now that league champions have been crowned, and European places are (almost) finalized, everyone’s attention has briefly  transitioned from on-field matters to off. Transfer speculation is in full swing, managers have been hired and fired, and agents are busy trying to count their chickens before they’ve hatched, Even the American President has gotten in on the action.

And like every other seasons’ end, I’m struggling to finalize post drafts that I’ve been working on for weeks/months. Some will be trashed, while others might yet see the light of day. So as I busy myself with making such important decisions, here are ten of my favorite  links from the last week to satisfy your quench for footie-related goodness.

Maradona suing Italy for trying to collect his back taxes. – kckrs.com

In case you’ve not seen it, here’s The Two Escobars. – youtube.com

A minimalist’s history of the World Cup. - andrefidusi.com

City might be making another Džeko if they sign Llorente. – inbedwithmaradona.com

Fake country Sealand play their first “international” match. – bbc.co.uk

Spurs’ new Under Armour kits are… surprisingly acceptable.
- reddit.com/user/IamHereForYou

How the players reacted when Hodgson was named England manager.
- theoffside.com

What it takes to put on a live MLS broadcast. – philly.com

United’s signing of Bébé always smelled fishy. – theoriginalwinger.com

Canada and Umbro team up for centenary kit sexiness. – blog.umbro.com

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seven reasons why shaun toback is a xenophobe asshat

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I’m going to start today’s article off by apologizing for the very misleading title. I’m not going to be examining the seven main reasons why BleacherReport author Shaun Toback is an asshat, as I don’t have enough time in my day to pour through what is sure to be a litany of varied reasons.

the defeated u.s. women's national team

after the USWNT lost in the world cup final to japan, i braced myself for the "anti-soccer" backlash.

Instead, I’m just going to focus on a tiny sliver of Toback’s douchebaggery: his proclaimed hatred for the sport many of us (and I’d venture to say, most everyone who visits this blog) hold dear.

Let’s also be quick to address the rarity of this type of posting on wrong side of the pond: I’m not normally one to make direct attacks on writers whose opinions I disagree with. But Shaun’s typical, reactionary soccer-bashing article after yesterday’s Women’s World Cup final houses so much flawed logic that my brain is hurting. Trying to comprehend the sheer amount of stupid in this post is literally impossible. His seven “reasons” why non-gridiron football will never take off in this country needed a point-by-point retort, and I feel just pissed off enough to offer my services.

1. Soccer’s Great Moments Are Fleeting

barcelona passing

barcelona's tiki-taka movement is one of the subtleties that newcomers to the sport often overlook.

Mr. Toback starts off his article letting everyone know he’s a big all-around sports fan. He tells us that he hates soccer, but wants it to succeed, because he likes to watch “great athletes that play [sports] enjoy success.” I’m not exactly sure what the hell that means, but I think he’s trying to imply that it can, at times, be interesting to watch elite athletes compete in a sport he’s not particularly interested in. He probably doesn’t enjoy regularly watching swimming, but was still probably riveted (like the rest of us) by Michael Phelps at the Beijing Olympics.

However, he takes objection with soccer because in the average soccer game, “nothing really happens.” Of course, he’s referring to the typical argument that the only “big events” in soccer are goals. A tried yet tired argument, Toback and the rest of the soccer haters never listen to us when we say there’s significantly more to soccer than just goals. If he really appreciates sports, then he would take the time to understand that much of what makes soccer so special is what happens in between the goals: amazing offensive build ups, slick and tricky passes, intelligent defensive teamwork, brilliant individual displays of skill. Just as with basketball or hockey, it’s awe inspiring to watch masters like Messi, Ronaldo or Xavi completely take over and dominate a match.

Nuances, just as with other sports, are what makes soccer so interesting. Not taking the time to watch and identify those intricacies of each sport will ultimately sour any new viewer’s perception of the game.

2. Soccer Is a Finesse Sport and Americans Don’t Care About Finesse Sports
There is a one word answer that is the perfect, short retort to this point: golf.

nigel de jong kicks xabi alonso

nigel de jong packs enough violence into his game to keep in the most cerebral of american fans entertained.

But let’s be honest, one word rebuttals aren’t near as fun as long-winded ones.

Second, making a snap judgment about the lack of speed and power of an entire sport based upon the women’s game is plain retarded. I present: women’s tackle football. Have you ever watched paint dry a WNBA game? Aren’t there things called “ladies tees” in golf? All are slower, less explosive versions of the men’s game, and that ultimately makes them a different game that requires a different appreciation.

Third, watch a freaking men’s game. It’s borderline out of control it’s moving so quickly. And if you don’t think there’s violence in soccer: Nigel de Jong has a foot he’d like to put into your chest. Thinking there’s a lack of power in the sport seems silly when you consider that Ryan Shawcross will literally tackle through your leg.

3. The Field Is Too Big
I would believe one of the arguments that Toback makes if he could actually decide what he’s bitching about. Is the field too big or are red card ejections stupid? Sadly, neither argument is strongly backed up.

real madrid's ronaldo is fast

ronaldo is fast enough to make the field small.

He makes the assertion that playing a man down isn’t really that big of deal, and the team’s odds of still winning aren’t greatly reduced, all because the field is too big. I feel fairly safe in assuming that Toback probably missed the second leg of the Arsenal-Barcelona Champions League tie last year. After Van Persie’s crap ejection, Arsenal’s chances of the winning the match were effectively zilch. But throwing that or any other examples out, his argument is still poor. The whole point of the red card ejection is that the offending team should still be able to compete, just at a disadvantage. Sometimes they overcome it, but most times they don’t.

And if you want to shrink the field just to get more goals or have red cards be more impactful, there’s an existing solution for you: indoor soccer or futsal.

4. ESPN Doesn’t Care About Soccer
To paraphrase a quote from BASEketball, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve seen an MLS commercial for ESPN, I would have a shitload of nickels. Does this guy ever watch any of the ESPN channels? If so, I don’t know how he could miss the channel advertising soccer. Remember the six months leading up to the 2010 World Cup in South Africa? They advertised the Cup so much that I was getting sick of it.

And even though I know it’s not the same network, I’ve seen a plethora of ads pushing Fox Soccer Channel on numerous other stations on my cable provider. Both Fox and ESPN shelled out a lot of money to show MLS and English Premier League games, and they wouldn’t do so if there wasn’t an audience worth selling it to… so I’m pretty sure they care about the sport a little bit.

Comparing soccer’s struggles to pull in American audiences to the audiences pulled in by a 100-year-plus reoccurring national cultural event is like comparing apples and oranges. Soccer is a growing sport facing a tremendously biased and entrenched sports scene. Expecting it out draw something like the All-Star Game consistently is like expecting the professional lacrosse league to suddenly start attracting viewers in the millions in the next 5 years. It’s just not practical, possible or comparable.

5. Excessive Flopping and Terrible Refs
I would throw Toback a bone on this complaint, but he’s a little late to the party. Last time I checked, the quality of refereeing and the debate on how to aid them in an increasingly difficult decision-making process is one of the largest controversies in the sport. And as for diving, it’s one of the few problems in the game that FIFA and the governing bodies are actually attempting to alleviate. As he pointed out, even us diehard fans know these are two massive problems in our sport.

erika of brazil

i'll give toback credit: as erika showed us, simulation is rampant in the men's and women's game.

But while Shaun admitted that cheating and poor refereeing can give a team an “advantage” in American sports, he took it a step further by asserting that matches and tournaments are “routinely” and “completely” decided by these kinds of events in soccer. Is he trying to say that outcomes in the NBA, MLB and NFL are never influenced by these sins?

Wait, I seem to recall an NFL Conference Championship game that just might have been influenced by a controversial referee decision. I also remember Tim Donaghy and the NBA’s referee betting scandal that possibly influenced playoff basketball games.  Armando Galarraga had his place in baseball history destroyed when his perfect game was botched by umpire Bill Hohn.

I’m also guessing that Toback thinks player cheating is exclusive to soccer. Ignoring that the NBA’s Manu Ginobli is a serial flopper — after all, he’s a dirty foreigner — players try to deceive the referees with diving in the NHL (Alex Ovechkin), college basketball (Kemba Walker) and even the NFL (Brett Favre). And while we’re on the topic of players gaming the system, maybe we should just ignore that whole steroids thing that did/didn’t happen in baseball.

Point is, every sport has its black eyes and bad sheep. Holding those against one sport while ignoring the faults of other sports is not only hypocritical, but also a bad reason to think a sport can’t build it’s popularity if those horrible things are happening. Last time I checked, the American sports leagues all recovered from these “disasters.”

6. The Mystery of Extra Minutes and Other Vague Soccer Rules
Here’s the thing about sports: they all have different rules. And in every sport, there are confusing rules. Try explaining icing or offsides to a non-hockey fan, you’ll run into problems. The NBA has been grappling with how to call traveling for a half century. In the NFL, you’re allowed to hit certain players one way, but other players only in a different way.

Just like with any other sport, it takes some time to learn the rules. You can’t just learn them over night, and it takes repeated viewing to learn the differences in how to call a certain situation one way or another.

But if you say that there are virtually no people in this country that have been watching soccer their entire lives and that’s why no one get’s the rules, you must be smoking crack. I sat and watched yesterday’s women’s final with over 70 people (ages 15 – 65) yesterday at a bar in Dayton, Ohio, and just about all of them correctly thought the Japan offsides call in the second half was a bad one. And that’s just one small bar in a mid-sized Midwestern town.

And if you’re really in need of some clarification on the “vague” rules of soccer, read the damn rulebook.

7. Americans Suck at Soccer

giuseppe rossi of villareal

an american superstar does exist: rossi just chose to play for someone else.

No, the US Men’s National team isn’t a World Cup winner, and we’re still a ways off. But it would be foolish to suggest that we suck. There are a slew of Americans playing in the top leagues in the world. We knocked off World and European champions Spain in the Confederations Cup in 2009. We’ve made it to the World Cup quarter finals, something many nations can’t say. And that’s just the men. Our two-time world champion women’s team has made the semifinals or better in every major women’s tournament ever.

Even if we haven’t produced our own American star yet, that has more to do with our crap youth development system than the sport not attracting our biggest and fastest youth athletes. We don’t need LeBron James or Ray Lewis sized athletes to be competitive… Spain’s world-dominating side have an average height of just 5’10″.

And if he really does want the game to succeed, Toback propagating a bunch of biased, non-factual bullshit as to why the game sucks isn’t helping the problem.

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What it seems like is that, though Shaun insists he has tried to like the game, he has gone into every soccer experience with the same worn-out preconceptions and never looks past what the xenophobe hivemind has instructed him to believe. To fear what is foreign is natural, but to not take the time to learn about it before developing an opinion is ignorant.

Five minutes of Google searches on each objection would have stopped this article in its tracks, but it’s clear that the author didn’t feel it necessary to put in due diligence. It’s always best to bash things without doing your homework, right Shaun?

To be honest though, I don’t know what the guy’s problem is. Maybe some little football playing lassie (lad?) broke his heart at some point during his youth. Or perhaps he’s bent out of shape that he finally invested himself in the sport, and had his heart ripped out when the ladies lost yesterday’s final. So goes soccer, Toback… get used to it.

What’s really interesting though is that if Toback is so disinterested in soccer, then he wouldn’t have written an article all about it in the first place. Even though he thinks he’s tried and failed to get caught up in the “fever” that surrounds soccer, his article actually proves that he might have caught the sickness more than he thought.

the big (possible) switch

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I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but World Cup 2014 preparations in Brazil are going horribly. Construction delays are the face of the problems undermining the planning of the event, though the roots of those problems lie much deeper in the Brazilian culture.

brazil's ambitious plans are lagging far behind schedule; will they be able to get everything done by 2014?

Bribery and corruption are near-omnipresent in Brazil, and are likely at the heart of the problems surrounding the lead up to the next Big Show. So ingrained in Brazilian culture are these elements, that not even the country’s most famous son — and borderline demigod –, Pelé,  is exempt of it’s sway and influence. That’s not to mention the country’s enormous crime problem, which undoubtedly also has its roots in these ethical issues in the country’s cultural personality.

Not that we haven’t seen construction delays and budget shortfalls in the run up to major sporting events before, but the sheer volume of work needed to be completed in just over three years makes it a daunting task. According to a report from the Bazilian Audit Court, critical problems are wide ranging:

  • Several host city airports are in danger of not being able to complete renovations in time to handle the massive crowds and increased flights expected in 2014. Work at the Salvador airport has yet to begin due to problems with the bidding process… more or less meaning they haven’t yet figured out who is willing to put in the biggest bribe(s) to land the contract(s).
  • Construction is way behind pace at the stadiums too. The opening match stadium in São Paulo, which would be built and owned by domestic power Corinthians, has yet to even have its design approved by FIFA. The renovations at the renowned Maracana in Rio de Janiero, set to host the final, have only just gotten underway and are already over budget. Officials fear that all 12 locations are currently in a race against time to meet their deadlines.
  • Allegations of misappropriations of public funds for both infrastructure and stadiums are piling up on top of a withdrawal of promised private funds, further compounding issues mentioned above.
  • The stadium in the capital city of Brasília — a planned “city of the future” that was literally cut from the jungle — seats 71,000. However, after the Cup it is likely to sit vacant as the local clubs don’t have large enough followings to fill them. Echoes of post-Cup South Korea in 2002 are ringing in my ears.

After construction delays and rumors that the South Africa finals relied upon the government to fund much more than originally promised, the lack of finalized plans and financial backing at this stage in Brazil is extremely worrisome. With many of the stadia and airport renovations/constructions yet to even start or absent of proper funding, you wouldn’t be off base in wondering whether there is enough time to get it all done.

So the question that begs to be answered is: what happens if they can’t get it all done?

FIFA have luckily already set precedent for that scenario. If need be, they will move major tournaments. The moving of 1986 finals from Columbia to Mexico, where the Columbian drug lords government couldn’t afford to meet FIFA’s ridiculous financial requirements to host, is the most glaring example of a massive change on short notice. More recently, they shifted the 2003 Women’s World Cup host from China to the United States (despite hosting the previous edition) just months before the tournament was to start due to some silly bird flu.

But, do FIFA have the stones to pull the 2014 edition from Brazil if necessary? Let’s first examine why they would not want to pull the trigger on such a move.

The Brazilian federation — and more importantly, their national teams — are the pride and joy of the FIFA’s overall Fair Play initiatives. Lately, the world’s governing body has been masking their evilness by trying to promote the game in third world and underdeveloped nations, many of which have weak international credentials. Despite a majority of Brazil’s population living at or below the poverty level, their national team is the most successful in the world.

The country has become such a proficient player factory, that its citizens literally feed the world’s demand for joga bonito in their own domestic leagues. Perhaps taking a page out of America’s Manifest Destiny mantra, the Brazilians have pulled themselves up by their boots straps to get where they are today. But taking away the marquee event from a country that pride’s itself on the sport would be like a gigantic stomach punch to the entire country.

As for the money that’s already been invested by the government and private parties, pulling the World Cup out would mean that those parties were epically swindled to donate to public works projects with no payout at the end. This could easily create a lack of investing confidence in the country, running the risk of destabalizing one of the fastest growing economies on the planet.

think the rioting in libya is bad? watch what happens if you take a world cup away from a country so passionate about their national sport.

It’s also been ages since a World Cup has been held in Latin America. Since their selection was based on Sepp’s continental rotaion policy — which is meant to be fair to the fans — FIFA would tarnish their already crap image if they go back on their word. Although, maybe that would make more people start to think that FIFA can’t even pick an adequate host for its own main event. Moving the big show would be just another huge black eye for the organization… though they’ve probably grown quite accustomed to that lately.

So if FIFA have all of these reasons to not ship the tournament off to another country, why then would they consider doing it? Just like with everything else FIFA, the answer is likely as simple as money.

As much as they would receive black eye for yanking the Cup from one of it’s most successful member nations, having the Brazilians run a shoddy tournament in inadequate confines would be just as bad. Under Blatter’s guidance, FIFA have built an incredibly strong brand that companies want to utilize for their own advertising initiatives. A poorly run tournament in Brazil could easily tank that incredible value, which would ultimately scare off big money corporate investors for future tournaments.

Sure, Brazil’s economy has been one of the few bright spots in the gloomy global economy. It’s likely the only country in South America who is economy strong enough to host an event of such magnitude. But it sure ain’t the American or Chinese for that matter, either.

It’s a safe assumption to say that the capability for maximizing the value of corporate sponsorship deals for a Brazilian tournament would be drastically smaller than if it were being held in Europe, Asia or North America. Is Brazil’s middle class wealthy enough to compensate for any drop in foreign attendance due to the underdeveloped airports or fear of crime?

Listen, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not an economist. But I can’t imagine that FIFA wouldn’t make more money by moving the tournament from Brazil to a more traditional, Western market. Of course, this likely means more money that could find it’s way into the highly ethical pockets of FIFA Executive Board members. so with the Brazilian tournament seemingly on the path to disaster, why not pull out and place it in a more lucrative location?

we know that brazil can put on a good party... whether they can do the same for a 21st century world cup remains to be seen.

Now, I’m certainly aware that from an American fan’s perspective, this kind of switch would likely be the equivalent of hitting the soccer lottery. There’s little doubt that the US would be the automatic front runner to become the replacement host, edging out the English due to our track record of sort of pulling this off for FIFA in the past. Regardless of which of the two would be chosen as the replacement, it could be seen by many as a move by FIFA to try to mend some bridges after screwing over both associations in the 2018/2022 bidding processes.

Let it be clear, too, that I am not in support of giving us the tournament that is rightly Brazil’s (Though i would certainly take advantage of the situation if it were to work out that way!) unless it’s absolutely necessary. By all means, I’d prefer we give the Samba Boys some time to get their shit together. Because if we’re being honest, a World Cup in Brazil done right could be an absolutely amazing affair. Think Carnival (flair, extravagance, and of  course boobs) combined with the Fan Zones at the Germany 2006 (cheerful socializing, beer and boobs).

Either way, I wouldn’t be surprised if FIFA pulled this move off. Whether their reasoning is for the benefit of the game or for their bank accounts, is another thing all together. And for that reason, let us hope that we don’t ever have to find out.

a long overdue goodbye

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On Monday, it felt like a part of my childhood died. No, I’m not referring to a footage leak of what will undoubtably be an awful theatrical edition of one of my favorite shows growing up. Instead, the part of my childhood that died this week did so when when of my favorite childhood players announced he would be hanging up his boots for good.

this gap-toothed smile caught my and everyone else's attention all the way back in 1994.

Like many typical American children of the 80′s and 90′s, watching soccer on tv was a rare occurrence. World Cups were about the only time the sport go any sort of coverage, so my knowledge of players started and ended there.

While I can remember watching the 1990 World Cup Final (possibly my oldest football memory outside of my own playing), it was when the tournament came to the states in 1994 that I really was sucked in. And as that glorious month went on and we saw the most boring Brazilian team of all time advance and eventually win the Cup, I became obsessed with a gangly youngster on their roster that never even saw the pitch. Who was this “Ronaldo”?

I learned that he was 17 years old, and was included solely (and to the anger of many Brazilian fans) to help him gain valuable experience at this lofty world stage. So why would this make me obsessed? Two reasons most likely:

  1. I was confused as to why a team that was a realistic challenger would feel willing to blow a valuable roster spot on someone they knew they likely wouldn’t play.
  2. It stoked my dreams, making me foolishly believe that I had a shot at making the roster for the 1998 tournament. Idiot.

While Ronaldo’s appearance in 1994 certainly didn’t foreshadow my inclusion in the next World Cup squad, it’s clear that the Seleção bringing him along for the trip did prove to be a wise choice. Seventeen years later that is proven by Ronnie’s selection for the next three World Cups (1998, 2002, 2006), his helping with the addition of a fifth World Cup trophy in 2002, and him sitting on top of the all-time World Cup scoring chart with a whopping 15 goals.

But just talking about El Phenomeno in terms of his World Cup exploits really doesn’t tell half of the story.

Simply put, Ronaldo is the finest striker that I’ve ever seen. Hell, it’s likely that he is the finest striker that I will ever see.

Aside from a wretched two-year injury spell from 1999-2001, Ronaldo was without a doubt the most feared attacker on the planet for nearly a decade. In a glittering club career that included spells at arguably the four biggest continental clubs (Barcelona, Real Madrid, A.C. Milan and Inter Milan… not to mention a stunning debut year at PSV), Ronaldo managed to notch 273 goals in 402 appearances.

But again, just talking about his goal scoring prowess doesn’t do him justice.

Ronaldo was what you could consider the first completely rounded striker. No, I’m not talking about his general body shape over the last few years, but instead that the Brazilian was one of the first attackers that offered the complete package.

i bet you didn't think fat guys could move this fast, huh?

At his peak, he was untouchable at full sprint, often pulling away from defenders while he was dribbling. As with many pacy attackers, teams then resorted to stopping him with brute physical force. Of course this is when the opposition would learn that was also impossible, because the guy was a beast that could fight through hard tackles. And if you’re the kind of fan that loves fancy tricks, well Ronaldo had those in abundance too. I wasn’t lying when I said this guy had everything.

A perfect example of this is my favorite memory of 3-time World Player of the Year, which came in the opening match of the 1998 World Cup. Facing off against a plucky Scottish side, Ronnie received the ball on the left flank in his own half and sparked a one-man Brazilian counterattack. He then proceeded to take his defender on what can only be described as a “tour of the pitch,” ending up in the far right corner in his own offensive half. It’s quite likely that he covered nearly every point on that side of the pitch — like a gymnast during a giant floor routine — yet the Scots were unable to disposes him despite picking up several defenders along the way. It was awe inspiring seeing a single man virtually take on an entire defense with what looked to be no effort.

What really made him appealing though, wasn’t the goals or the tricks or the utter dominance. Instead, Ronaldo’s appeal came from his ability to do all of those things with that big ass goofy smile constantly plastered on his face. It was tremendously appealing to watch a force of nature in action, and see that he was enjoying himself the whole time.

And that’s when I get sad, as I know most of the world won’t remember Ronaldo that way.

It’s incredibly depressing for me to think that there’s an entire generation of football fans out there that won’t think of the Brazilian first when they hear the name “Ronaldo.” For those of them that do know of him, many will still only remember him as a fat ass that liked to sleep with trannies. Others will remember his bizarre and poor showing at the 1998 World Cup Final, but forget that he was likely pressured by Nike to play even though he probably had a seizure.

i don't care that you went home. i don't care that you got fat. and i don't care that you like transvestite strippers.

Many will forget the fact that even though he was a tad chubby during his Real Madrid days, he still won the Spanish pichichi after having his knee reconstructed twice. Many players would never be able to fully recover from that type of injury, let alone recover and return to the pinnacle of their sport. Even fewer have probably moved on from said injuries to receive a standing ovation at Old Trafford.

So what if the guy played on for several more years beyond when he should have. Can you blame him for wanting to push himself a bit more? Frankly, it’s a miracle he was even able to play after those knee surgeries, so I’ll forgive the guy for wanting to go home to see if he could still make the grade in his old stomping grounds.

Everyone deserves a swan song, and this man more than most.

leaving a legacy

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as humans, we have this complex about how important we are in the world.

sepp clearly wants us to remember him. but in what way will we remember him?

it’s hard for most people to swallow how insignificant they are in the big scheme of things. we live a very short amount of time when compared to the billions of years the universe has been around, and each of us is just one of the billions of humans that have ever lived on this planet.

many of us can’t stand the thought that after we and all of our friends and family die, we’re very likely never to be remembered. think of those billions of people who have lived throughout time and how few of them we actually still talk about today. that’s why we see people like kanye west, evil kenevil and rupaul, who, despite being extremely famous, still feel the need to be as outrageous and controversial as possible. humans will do anything to be remembered.

maybe that innate desire can help explain what exactly sepp blatter is trying to do.

as has long been known (and explained here for those unaware), blatter is a master politician. and like most career politicians, he also has left a lengthy trail of controversy along the way. so it wouldn’t be any stretch of the imagination to think that blatter has been almost directly responsible for the placements of not just two of the next three world cups (russia and qatar), but also three of the last five (usa, korea/japan and south africa).

(now as a side note, there is obviously some conjecture in the last sentence that i wrote above. i know that blatter was not president when the usa bid and korea/japan bid were selected in 1998 and 1996 respectively. however, prior to his controversial takeover in 2008, blatter had been working for fifa for 23 years in a number of high ranking positions. specifically, his role for the five straight tournaments before his presidency was CEO; that job entails overseeing the world cup.)

prior to his presidency, the world cup had only been held on three of the six habitable continents. in fact, of the 16 tournaments to that point, only six had been held outside europe. but including the seven tournaments held during and decided during his presidency, five will be held outside of europe. of those five, three were held/are being held on continents that have never before hosted.

perhaps what we’re seeing with blatter is him trying to make his mark on history. maybe his goal is leaving a legacy of “the man who brought the world cup to the rest of the world.” and it’s a very noble effort if that’s actually the case.

but blatter is also playing with fire with these decisions. there is a high potential for qatar 2022 and russia 2018 to blow up in his face if:

  1. either turns out to be a disastrous tournament (both have the great ability to do so), or
  2. any light is shed on the suspected shady dealings that brought qatar and russia their success.

qatar and russia have a lot to get done now that they've "won" their bids.

russia has to build or rebuild every single stadium they intend to use for tournament, not to mention the billions that will need to be spent to sure up the massive country’s horrendous infrastructure. aside from host cities that will have multiple stadiums, the distances between host cities will make it nearly impossible for a county’s fans to follow them throughout the tournament.

qatar… well, where do we start. their team is currently ranked 113th in the world, and they’ve never qualified for a world cup (going all the way back to the original EA fifa soccer game in the mid 90′s, qatar were always the worst team). another drawback is that the country is situated in what we could consider a “hotbed” for hostile activity towards the west; good thing there won’t be any teams from the west, right? oh wait…

they have pledged self-sufficient air conditioned stadiums to protect players and fans from the expect 105°+ heat, despite having the highest CO2 output per capita in the world right now. recall that this cooling technology hasn’t yet been proven on a large scale, and they also have to go about  building/rebuilding every stadium on their list too.

also, how can a nation of 1.7 million expect to handle an influx of a half million rabid fans? there are certainly logistical issues such as having enough hotel rooms, restaurants and manpower to accommodate them. not to mention that effectively all of these fans will be coming into just one city, doha.

Swedish soccer fans kissing

if you're expecting more of this awesomeness in qatar in 12 years, you better save this picture to your phone.

oh yeah, and there’s this little issue of the quasi-illegality of alcohol in the country: there are only 4 places in the entire country to purchase it. good luck getting soccer fans to forgo drinking during the tournament in 2022.  i also hope you’re not a fan of the hot south american and scandinavian females that support their teams at each world cup in agonizingly tiny outfits. thanks to strict religious laws, those “gifted” supporters will likely have to cover up. starting to sound like a buzz kill yet?

and that’s just addressing the first point. the second point has growing momentum in less than a week since the announcement, and this is where it’s beginning to look like blatter might have finally bitten off more than he can chew. in lieu of me writing every single allegation being hoisted up against the irregular bidding process, read this link (no, for real… READ IT) which does a great job of covering the myriad of accusations. while all of these can’t be true, it’s not improbable to think that many of them are.

and maybe it wasn’t such a great idea to award the tournament to the most corruption-prone candidates just after it was leaked that at least two of the executive committee members were selling their votes.

either way you look at it, blatter’s gamble at bringing the world cup to places anew is surely a risky bet. with many stating that sir sepp is gunning for a noble peace prize, the results of the bid decisions for 2018 and 2022 surely back that up. i get that thought process, but in my humble opinion it has more to do with padding his swiss bank account than it does to making sure he get’s a prize. regardless, he probably won’t ever face any punishment for it.

whatever the case may be, the legacy that blatter leaves behind is far from written. we’ve got just under 12 years to wait and see.

ten words or less #9

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why, hello there... creep.

it’s another european week, and i’ve been busy trying to keep my dvr from choking to death on all of the games i’m making it record. i’m also trying to keep my brain from choking to death on all of the analyzing that is required to understand why madrid can’t score more than one time against auxerre…. auxerre! oh well, at least they won. now whether or not tottenham will crap the bed today against fc twente, well let’s not hold our breath.

in the mean time, enjoy the links below to keep you satisfied until today’s kickoff(s):

cave man modeling is not hot. – whoateallthepies.tv

aannnddd… now we should lock the door behind him! – unprofessionalfoul.com

the first guy was maradona to a T. – youtube.com

“shooting themselves in the foot” seems the right phrase. – soccerlens.com

lack of confidence, or brilliant plan? not quite sure. – skysports.com

don’t want to be a moron? then understand uefa coefficients. – theoffiside.com

big sam receives the deserved haha treatment. – guardian.co.uk

you’ll be creeped out by von bommel and müller. – dirty tackle @ yahoo.com

round up #23

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now that the transfer window has (quietly) closed and the theatrics of the world cup are slowly fading into the background, i feel like we can finally focus on what really matters: the football.

this would be awesome... if marquez wasn't there.

but, let’s be honest.. i love the fluff that comes with it. and here’s the best i’ve come across on the tubes in the last week.

mind blowing social experiment of the day – theoffside.com
if you were take a stroll around say, downtown manhattan, while the world cup final was on this summer, and nothing would have looked any different than any other normal day. thousands of people would still be snapping pictures in times square, buying knockoff purses in chinatown, and strolling about times square. but flash to brazil, and things are clearly different. one man had the bright idea to roll around são paulo during the world cup finals with a video camera. the biggest city in south america was a virtual ghost town. while it’s not surprising that the soccer-mad country would be consumed by the big event, i am a little shocked to not see a single person in the entire clip. which makes me wonder… how the hell is this country going to host the finals in 2014 if no one wants to work during the games?

making the most of being sent off – dirtytackle @ yahoo.com
fellow defenders will agree with me when i say that those nancy-fancy forwards always go down for fouls pretty easy. they fall with the slightest nudge, rolling about like someone castrated them instead of a having just suffered a little shirt pull. it certainly doesn’t help that the refs always tend to give those diving bastards the benefit of the doubt. so trust me when i say we defenders have some pent up rage that lives within us all. so when you see a defender lose it a little when they get a foul called against them. but the reaction of the guy in this video, well, i just can’t find the words to stick up for him.

donovan’s ridiculous price tag – matchfitusa.com
when donovan signed the four year extension with the galaxy in the fall of 2009, two things immediately came to mind:

  1. landycakes is a moron, and apparently never wants to play in europe ever. why would he put himself in a position where it would be harder for him to move abroad?
  2. MLS just made a shrewd move to make sure they got paid when donovan tried to make his eventual move to europe.

both thoughts were true, to an extent at least. donovan’s contract extension did nothing but give MLS the upperhand with any potential suitors from the old continent, meaning they could ask for a good deal more money in any transfer moves for the golden egg. landon’s extremely successful loan to everton, coupled with his good performances in south africa, meant that donovan was a hot commodity. don garber’s eyes no doubt had dollar bills instead of pupils at that point. unfortunately, their little plan turned into a giant cockblock. perhaps catching wind of interest from cash-laden citeh drove up their asking price, but america’s pride and joy isn’t worth $16 million. in the end, neither party got what it wanted. great.

the crest of a wave? – guardian.co.uk
i love logos… they’re fascinating to me. to me, there is nothing more iconic than an emblem that is instantly recognizable the world over (nike, mcdonald’s, coca-cola; please take your bow). it’s a necessity in this day in age where everything is branded. but the incredibly difficult thing about having a good logo or crest is creating it.

i for one don’t mind most teams taking a stab at remaking their image, though it’s insanely hard to create a new identity that is still grounded in tradition. while the article gives credit to arsenal and chelsea for their new crests’ paying homage to their histories, i also think tottenham deserve credit in the same regard. while some clubs make the change very poorly, there are, of course, also clubs like fulham that desperately needed to change, and did so well.

henry and rafa take the path – metrofanatic.com
the fact that this photo can even happen in this country… boy, it makes me feel like MLS is on to something special. ignore for a second that RBNY might be trying a little too hard to be the new cosmos. can you imagine sitting next to henry, one of the best players of an entire generation, on the subway? that’s equivalent to sitting next to brett farve or derek jeter, and easily being able to take a picture with them and not get mobbed in the process. please MLS; intelligently ride this wave of awesomeness.

round up #22

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with the new season already begun in some parts of europe, and the premiership set kicking off this weekend, i’m obviously all sorts of amped up. the constant stream of football news has shifted away from world cup stories and has thinned of transfer rumors (though they are certainly not anywhere close to ending… ever).

so with that in mind, i’ll share my thoughts about a few of the stories i’ve found over the last few weeks that were worth noting in the twenty-second edition of the round up.

though i'm no fan of the citizens, i'm a big fan of what umbro has done with their kits again this year (and last year for that matter).

the questoin: is the world cup too big? – guardian.co.uk
the simple answer to this question: no. the more complex answer to this question: no. while the writer of this story definitely brings up some very interesting points (the most important of which is the tendency of weaker teams to sit in and settle for draws or respectable losses), i think he’s over reacting a bit. the world cup needs this many teams participating to truly make the finals a “world” cup.

that said, he did have another brilliant idea. while it would never ever happen, his idea for a gigantic, worldwide, two-leg play off system for determining the 16 teams at the finals would make for a thrilling tournament. however, my productivity at work would probably fall off the charts, as i would be watching way, way, way more qualifiers than i ever have before.

switzer tabbed assistant soccer coach – ohiobobcats.com
how did this story not send shockwaves through world football?!?! okay, so this isn’t major soccer news to most people, but it was pretty big soccer news to me, my family and friends. but i wanted to give a shout out to my little sister, who is getting ready to embark on her maiden season as a coach at her former stomping grounds in athens, ohio. and with the bobcats making a preseason trip to xavier here in cincinnati this weekend, that means i’ll get to watch the sib in “action”… or whatever you call it when she’s screaming from the touchline. good luck, amy! go ohio!

premier league kits 2010-2011 – guardian.co.uk
if you know me at all, you know i’ve got a bit of a fettish for soccer apparel and equipment. this is a quick guide to help you keep all of your premier league teams straight in the coming season, with every home, away and third kit on digital display. my favorites: tottenham home and third, all the man city, and wigan’s new home kit. what i really like about this article, though, is the look of all of these kits sans-sponsors… oh how i love capitalism, turning footballers into billboards!

fanchants.com - fanchants.com
it’s all in the name on this link. but in case you’re extra dense and you haven’t figured it out yet, this site provides thousands of fan chants/songs from clubs all over the world. if you consider yourself a fan of any club in the world, and you don’t know at least one of their more famous chants… well you’re probably not actually a real fan. so learn up, before i have to call you out in person.

60,000 names sold on the black market – dagbladet.no
just when fifa thought it was safe to call south africa 2010 a success, after navigating the finals without serious incident in a country that is well known for it’s violent crime rates, this news goes and rears it’s ugly head. word is that one of the official ticket distributors for the world cup has sold over 60k names, credit cards, etc. of the fans and spectators that purchased tickets for the world cup. names on that list include such lofty individuals as the head of the norwegian national bank and sweedish skiing star anja pärson. needless to say, fifa need to find a way to corral the media black eyes they’ve been receiving of late, or their whole system is going to spiral out of control.

ten words or less #4

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the regular four year reports  that the business world suffered a drastic decrease in productivity due to the world cup are starting to spill out, and those monitoring the economy are probably breathing a sigh of relief now that the tournament is over.

fret not though my dear readers, as i’m still finding plenty of ways to be unproductive with footballing news continuing to stream in. there are too many gems out there not to be unproductive and share!

i contributed to this, my guess is you did too. – mashable.com

you read it here first… after i read it here – mls-daily.com

cheating cephalopod… he’s probably on the juice too. – mirrorfootball.co.uk

the king is dead. long live the king. – gaurdian.co.uk

footballers when they were kids. unsurprisingly, lampard was a fatty. – betfairfootball.com

even with “legend” backing, this guy is still a moron. – american.com

do you love random, useless world cup stats? i do. – optasports.com

dreamed of seeing mike tyson in a peterborough united kit? – dirty tackle

round up #21

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two months after my last round up post, and i have finally gathered up enough stories to put together one of these. and upon further thought, it comes off as pretty stupid of me, because since then i’ve created a whole other type of links post since then to accomodate the supposedly “huge” amount of stories that i tend to accumulate in between postings.

i can't imagine this "trophy" would be ordered by anyone other than diego.

but in all actuality, the only reason another round up (or ten words or less for that matter) hasn’t been posted is because i’ve felt overwhelmed by the amount of story lines that have come out since then. this whole “world cup” thing apparently has all sorts of stories pouring out of it nearly 24 hours a day.

there’s just too damn much to write about, and i’ve been too damn busy watching games.

translation? i’ve been lazy.

so without further delay, here is my 21st edition of the internet news round up…

world cup replica made of cocaine found in columbia – bbc.co.uk
there is only one plausible explanation for this story line, and it goes like this: diego maradona completely convinced himself that the argies would win the world cup this year, and decided he would break sobriety to celebrate and help him find the courage for his pre-tournament promise. and the easiest way for him to have access to this huge stash of coke? mold it into a crap replica of the world cup trophy. from afar, it looks likely enough that no one would question him. and it’s not like anyone is going to rip the “world cup” from a living legends hands.

i challenge you to find a better explanation.

brazil vs. argentina – blog.leetsoft.com
here in america, we like to think our sports teams have real rivalries. MLB has the red sox-yankees rivalry. then there’s michigan-ohio state for college athletics. the NBA has lakers-celtics. and the NFL even has partiots-colts.

but none of those can eve touch the rivalries in football. think of the religious tensions of rangers-celtic. the star power of real madrid-barcelona. the in-house fighting of the milan derby in italy. lethal projectiles between river plate-boca juniors. and then you get to the even higher rivalries between national teams, representing national pride.

and it’s those international rivalries that really breed the best stone throwing (sometimes even wars!) between rivals. the posters produced by the argentine supporters, and the subsequent replies from the brazilians, is pure brilliance.

baby ‘joy’ for cristiano ronaldo – bbc.co.uk
less than a few days after being knocked out of the world cup by spain, real madrid and portugal superstar ronaldo announced to the world that he now has offspring. apparently the love child of ronaldo and some random american whore, ronnie dropped piles of money on negotiated with the mother to have soul custody of the smiling baby boy. after promptly naming him the best name he could come up with — cristiano of course — he pawned his new progeny off on his mother and sister in portugal, and then jetted off to holiday in new york. all the makings of a great father… or perhaps a giant ruse to cover up his homosexuality? i don’t know about that, but who knows with this guy?

custom boots of the world cup – footy-boots.com
i am insanely jealous of professional footballers. they get paid millions of dollars. they have fancy cars and houses and clothes. they get all the women. but what really makes me jealous, is their custom football boots.

sure, i could get my boots “customized” by eurosport, adding my name/number/flag/zodiac sign to the sides (stupid). or i could lavishly overspend and use nikeID to pick my own colors (pretty cool). but what if i want a different stud configuration on the bottom of by CTR360′s? or what if i want to remove a portion of a new shoe’s design to make it lighter? what if i want the shoe custom molded for my feet? well when you’re a pro, you get everything you want.

boil down the basics – studs-up.co.uk
this was a (mostly) magical world cup for us american fans. we somehow won our group. we played with courage and heart. landycakes finally grew up and became a man (with a hummingbird tattoo). we got to experience the true drama of a world cup for the first time. i still consider it a success even though we crapped the bed with a missed golden opportunity to make a run at the semifinals.

but the thing that really made this world cup for me wasn’t the success of the USMNT, but instead the way my country — the one on the wrongs side of the pond mind you — embraced the game. people were out in droves to watch all of the yanks’ games, even during the work week. it was unlike anything i’ve ever seen when it comes to the beautiful game in america.

but then studs up goes and runs this, and it puts everything back in perspective to me.