As a married man that has yet to have his first kid, sometimes I feel like I’m constantly feeling pressure to start making babies.

My high school friends are starting to have kids, as are a few from college. There must be something in the water at work, as there at minimum five pregnant ladies wandering around the office right now. And anytime I bring up my wife around any of the lot, they feel it necessary to let me know that I’m effectively “on deck”. Hell, when we got a puppy a while back, my mother-in-law told us we should have had a baby instead.

It’s not that I don’t want to have kids, I just don’t want them yet. Considering that’s it’s a tiny miracle that I’m actually able to make it to work each day on time, it would be safe to say that I’m maybe not quite mature enough for that kind of responsibility yet.

Thankfully, my lovely wife has agreed to postpone having children, for a little while at least. I convinced her it’s so we can enjoy each other’s company sans-children, take some trips, etc. However — and perhaps more importantly — by delaying having a baby, I’ll still have the energy to get up and watch early morning soccer matches each weekend. Also thankfully, my wife very rarely reads my posts.

So, imagine my surprise this morning that, while I’m reading through my normal morning blogroll, I found myself thinking I wanted to have a kid of my own.

But, not just any kid. I want this kid:

How freaking awesome is he?!?! He knows damn near every player’s name, and he’s what, 6 or 7 at the most? And not only does he know their names, but he’s genuinely having his mind blown by seeing his Spanish heroes. That’s not to mention that he’s not even Spanish: he’s actually Costa Rican! I doubt there are more than a handful of 6-year-old grommets in the entirety of the US that can name half of the USMNT players on site, let alone the players from another country.

For those concerned that the poor little guy’s hopes were crushed because most of La Furia Roja passed him by despite his ear-splitting screams (I’m sure Carlos Puyol’s ears are still ringing after he decided to quickly bypass the youngster), worry not. As this linked video shows at the 3:08 mark, he was actually able meet a few of the stars. But that wasn’t enough for this young fanatic, as he was even so bold as to pet Fernando Torres’ magnificent blonde mop!

What… a… badass!

Now, I am perfectly aware I can’t have this particular kid. I’m sure his parents would certainly balk at the idea, not to mention the whole language barrier thing that might prove a tad problematic as well. So that leaves me only to hope that my eventual child will be half as awesome as this footy-obsessed toddler.

Sadly, that’s also making a big assumption that I won’t smother him/her so much with soccer that they end up hating the sport and preferring that disgusting gridiron variety just to spite me.