That Real Madrid’s Colombian midfielder James RodrÍguez was pulled over for speeding on his way to training isn’t really news in itself. Plenty of professional footballers have been busted for driving their multi-million dollar vehicles at or around the sound barrier — James himself was reportedly pulled over for driving upwards of 125 mph — in fact, it seems like it happens in Spain more than anywhere else.

What does make James’ incident from the weekend so different is that he led Spanish authorities on a mini-high speed chase in the process. The police followed the Colombian for nearly 4 miles with lights flashing and sirens blaring, but Ha-Mes insisted he didn’t notice them or hear them. Sure you didn’t. But if you think that’s bad, listen to James’ explanation for why he was driving so fast to begin with. Initially, he explained he was simply late for training. But realizing that was a pretty crap excuse, he changed his mind to say it was because he feared he was being chased by kidnappers. Umm, this is Madrid dude… not Bogotá.

Not that his bogus excuses will really affect anything. At worst, James will end up with his license suspended for a year and have to pay a paltry fine. And when you’re a millionaire athlete playing for one of the world’s wealthiest clubs, that’s like the least inconvenient thing ever. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised at all if club sponsor Audi paid James to get them some prime back page exposure.