it’s that time again kids. i’ve taken a small slice out of the last week’s news to provide you with some fodder to feast upon. if you’re like me, it’s stories like these that help me get through weeks where tottenham are clearly attempting to recall the demons of the juande ramos era. weep.

is there a secret deal between rooney and united? – trulyreds.com
well we all thought this song was over, didn’t we? frankly, i’m tired of all of the rooney drama and i’m starting not to care whether this turns out to be trumor (btw, i just made “trumor” up and i’m a big fan) or just rumor at this point. however, the gossiper in me makes this point of view way too interesting to not stew about. sir alex made a deal with ronaldo before he left for real, why should the rooney situation be any different? you have to admit that the pieces of this puzzle are laying out that way a bit, especially with fergie oddly sending wayne off to the state for a few weeks. damn this saga!

mario balotelli’s dishonorable dump – unprofessionalfoul.com
this kid just won’t stop. first, he decided to visit a women’s prison… just ’cause. then he faked going to the hospital… just for laughs. let us also not forget his extremely odd and troubled family life. and now he’s gone and dumped his “fiancé” by text, perhaps borrowing a page from cheryl cole’s book. but in all honesty, is there anyone in super mario’s life that can make him shape up? it would be massive waste of talent to see the kid not reach his potential, but every story i read about him makes me think it’s probably the safe bet. a pity… but i’m glad it’s happening on cit-eh’s watch.

andy carroll pleads for chance to woo cheryl cole – dailymail.co.uk
speaking of cheryl, it looks like newcastle ladies man andy carroll has a bit of a crush on her. i’m not sure if this story is really just the way that carroll goes about inviting girls to his weekly drug-induced orgy over at kevin nolan’s place. either way, i would wager that cheryl will decline any invitation from the in-form baggie hitman. she’s clearly out of his league, says ashley cole at least.

italy legend roberto baggio still rues world cup omission – soccernet.com
the same man that is the namesake for wildly missing a penalty is still crying over being left off the 2002 world cup squad. don’t you think that 8 years would have been enough time to get over the hurt? sure, he and his lavish ponytail were having a resurgent season with the un-fancied brescia, prompting the media to call for his inclusion in the azzuri 2002 squad. mind you, he was at the ripe age of 35… not exactly the freshest of ages for a  guy who would have wanted to be  the leading striker in the side. my thoughts about the entire situatoin? get over it old man.

the fateful life of jose antonio reyes – whoateallthepies.tv
talk about another blast from the past, though not quite so far back as the “divine ponytail.” this is a great article on the meteoric rise and tumultuous fall of the atlético madrid forward. until reading this, i had completely forgotten how once-upon-a-time we all (and i mean all) thought that JAR was the next big thing in world football. at fault for this forgetfulness are my memories of his horrendous last year at arsenal and the slightly less horrendous year after at madrid (though i do suppose we owe him for that 30th league title). either way, it’s comical to think that we once thought that he was the better prospect than ronaldo.