transfer madness

the biggest move of the window involves a soulless traitor and a russian billionaire. i'll let you figure it out from there.

let’s begin this by saying that i will not be making this post an up-to-the-minute, one-stop-shop, complete directory for all of the transfers and rumors that will be spilling out of the media outlets today. this is still a one man show, and i certainly don’t have the patience or the fortitude to undertake that kind of endeavor. we’ll leave that to the big boys. oh yeah, and i’m at work (please don’t tell my boss, ok?!).

but, i figured you might find it entertaining to read my thoughts, and those of some friends, as the news comes across the wire.

  • 6:26pm EST: jozy altidore on the move again (about as shocking as dos santos), this time loaned to levante. maybe this time he’ll get a chance, or not squander one.
  • 5:50pm EST: seeing that giovanni dos santos has been loaned out again by spurs; just another january for the youngster. also, harry has had a second bid for everton’s phil neville rejected and i’m just fine with that from a personal standpoint.
  • 4:14pm EST: laregly dead in the transfer market over the last year, chelsea have certainly sprung to life today! maybe abromovic is feeling fiscally  inadequate after being shown up in the last few transfer windows by man city!  despite already forking out £45+ million for torres, they have also somehow resurrected their move for benfica’s highly rated david luiz. though the £25 million-rated luiz is likely to be used as a centerback, he is more than capable of playing on the left as well. perhaps this is foreshadowing ashley cole’s departure to real madrid in the summer?
  • 3:52pm EST: again, i find myself rooting for bolton. blah. anyway, i’m actually pulling for the wanderers to nab chelsea’s daniel sturridge on loan. the young striker has huuuuge upside, and i think he’d flourish in bolton’s quasi-free flowing attack under owen coy’s tutelage.
  • 3:29pm EST: remember the nigerian midget that scored all of those goals for newcastle a few years ago? he’s coming back to england, as birmingham have opted against a pricy robbie kean and have instead picked up obafemi martins on a 6 month loan from rubin kazan. my guess is the nigerian is really looking forward to england’s comparably “tropical climate” after spending the last year and a half in russia.
  • 3:08pm EST: just noticed that stoke have sold tuncay to wolfsburg. 1) i thought that guy was like 40 years old, and feel dumb realizing he’s only 29. 2) i didn’t realize anyone was still interested in signing players that everyone thinks are 40… oh wait, it’s steve mcclaren. now i get it.
  • 2:15pm EST: another USMNT member’s move to england has been been finalized, with former real salt lake striker robbie findley finally receiving his work permit to join nottingham forest. i actually really like this move for findley, as the championship contenders are on the rise and will provide him with a great environment to test himself as the club push for promotion to the promised land.
  • 2:02pm EST: allow me to clarify my statement about hating torres. he’s played nearly this whole season completely indifferent, after the kop stood behind him when he obviously fake-pledged his commitment to the club after the world cup. then he puts in a transfer request 3 days before the end of the window. if it weren’t for the fact that liverpool will never get more for him now than they ever would again, i’d say let him rot in the reserves before selling him the summer. i like the guy before all of this, and honestly felt bad for him while he suffered through liverpool’s downward spiral. now i hope he blows his groin up again on his debut at stamford bridge.
  • 2:01pm EST: shit has hit the fan, as liverpool have accepted a bid from chelsea for torres. i now hate him.
  • 12:35pm EST: my buddy milky just skyped me from china, basically trumpeting that liverpool are on their way back to being title challengers thanks to the carroll signing. as he put it, “we’ve got the meanest strike partnership in england now: suarez bites people, and carroll beats women. with king kenny leading the way, we’ll be unstoppable!”
  • 12:31pm EST: well, the andy carroll saga has come to an end, and sadly (i think!?) it’s not going to end in north london. newcastle’s shrewd business mentality has won them an extra £5 million from liverpool, who must be looking for a replacement for a “possibly” departing striker.
  • 9:38am EST: michael bradley is definitely heading to england, and not turkey. after apparently almost boarding a plane to sign with galatasary, it appears that son of i-robot will be plying his trade with darren bent at aston villa. with fellow yanks friedel and lichaj in the ranks, hopefully he’ll adjust to life quickly. whether or not he can find a spot in the squad, i have my concerns.
  • 9:19am EST: charlie adam would be a great signing for liverpool, as it would finally give them someone to replace xabi alonso with. whether or not the red’s fork out enough to convince holloway to let his most vital cog go, that’s another question all together. two bids already rejected make me think no.
  • 9:13am EST: tottenham have been linked with every striker in europe today, at least that’s what it feels like. in order, here’s how i rank all of the prospects, in order. take this all with a grain of salt though: i’m definitely expecting the same three strikers to be at the club tomorrow that are here today.
    • luis fabiano: speed, strength, and creative. dynamic finisher. i want him most of all of them.
    • diego forlán: my second choice by a narrow margin, but behind fabiano due to his old age (31) and poor strike rate while at manchester united a few years back. however, his goal tallies at the world cup and in spain the last few years make him an ideal spot.
    • fernando llorente: strength and size, with the ability to play some tiki taka. would be ideal for bale crosses, but would require lennon to learn how to do that. too bad athletic bilbao won’t sell until the summer, when madrid will likely snatch him up.
    • andy carroll: a sllightly more brute and less skilled version of llorente, but with premier league experience. i’m also concerned he could be a flash in the pan.
    • giuseppe rossi: a younger, more creative defoe. though i don’t think he gives us another dimension.
    • sergio agüero: i think he’s overrated, and his height is concerning. i feel like he doesn’t bring enough to the table for a team that likes to play down the flanks. plus he signed a new contract with atlético today.
  • 8:51am EST: in my opinion, newcastle are playing an interesting game with andy carroll. they saw how much dzeko went for (£32 million at age of 24), and they saw how much bent went for (£22 million at age of 26), so the precedent has already been set for strikers this window. carroll is 22, a physical freak, and has some experience plundering goals in the premier league… so his upside is pretty big. now, are any of these players really worth this much money… no. but i think the geordies are being fairly shrewd businessmen. whether or not he goes to liverpool is another issue altogether.
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