round up #21

two months after my last round up post, and i have finally gathered up enough stories to put together one of these. and upon further thought, it comes off as pretty stupid of me, because since then i’ve created a whole other type of links post since then to accomodate the supposedly “huge” amount of stories that i tend to accumulate in between postings.

i can't imagine this "trophy" would be ordered by anyone other than diego.

but in all actuality, the only reason another round up (or ten words or less for that matter) hasn’t been posted is because i’ve felt overwhelmed by the amount of story lines that have come out since then. this whole “world cup” thing apparently has all sorts of stories pouring out of it nearly 24 hours a day.

there’s just too damn much to write about, and i’ve been too damn busy watching games.

translation? i’ve been lazy.

so without further delay, here is my 21st edition of the internet news round up…

world cup replica made of cocaine found in columbia –
there is only one plausible explanation for this story line, and it goes like this: diego maradona completely convinced himself that the argies would win the world cup this year, and decided he would break sobriety to celebrate and help him find the courage for his pre-tournament promise. and the easiest way for him to have access to this huge stash of coke? mold it into a crap replica of the world cup trophy. from afar, it looks likely enough that no one would question him. and it’s not like anyone is going to rip the “world cup” from a living legends hands.

i challenge you to find a better explanation.

brazil vs. argentina –
here in america, we like to think our sports teams have real rivalries. MLB has the red sox-yankees rivalry. then there’s michigan-ohio state for college athletics. the NBA has lakers-celtics. and the NFL even has partiots-colts.

but none of those can eve touch the rivalries in football. think of the religious tensions of rangers-celtic. the star power of real madrid-barcelona. the in-house fighting of the milan derby in italy. lethal projectiles between river plate-boca juniors. and then you get to the even higher rivalries between national teams, representing national pride.

and it’s those international rivalries that really breed the best stone throwing (sometimes even wars!) between rivals. the posters produced by the argentine supporters, and the subsequent replies from the brazilians, is pure brilliance.

baby ‘joy’ for cristiano ronaldo –
less than a few days after being knocked out of the world cup by spain, real madrid and portugal superstar ronaldo announced to the world that he now has offspring. apparently the love child of ronaldo and some random american whore, ronnie dropped piles of money on negotiated with the mother to have soul custody of the smiling baby boy. after promptly naming him the best name he could come up with — cristiano of course — he pawned his new progeny off on his mother and sister in portugal, and then jetted off to holiday in new york. all the makings of a great father… or perhaps a giant ruse to cover up his homosexuality? i don’t know about that, but who knows with this guy?

custom boots of the world cup –
i am insanely jealous of professional footballers. they get paid millions of dollars. they have fancy cars and houses and clothes. they get all the women. but what really makes me jealous, is their custom football boots.

sure, i could get my boots “customized” by eurosport, adding my name/number/flag/zodiac sign to the sides (stupid). or i could lavishly overspend and use nikeID to pick my own colors (pretty cool). but what if i want a different stud configuration on the bottom of by CTR360’s? or what if i want to remove a portion of a new shoe’s design to make it lighter? what if i want the shoe custom molded for my feet? well when you’re a pro, you get everything you want.

boil down the basics –
this was a (mostly) magical world cup for us american fans. we somehow won our group. we played with courage and heart. landycakes finally grew up and became a man (with a hummingbird tattoo). we got to experience the true drama of a world cup for the first time. i still consider it a success even though we crapped the bed with a missed golden opportunity to make a run at the semifinals.

but the thing that really made this world cup for me wasn’t the success of the USMNT, but instead the way my country — the one on the wrongs side of the pond mind you — embraced the game. people were out in droves to watch all of the yanks’ games, even during the work week. it was unlike anything i’ve ever seen when it comes to the beautiful game in america.

but then studs up goes and runs this, and it puts everything back in perspective to me.

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1 Comment

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